Carrots

Because I'm so bad at going to bed, I sometimes sit up reading old blog posts. For no reason, Saturday night I was reading posts from March 2012, when I came across this gem (the first one that's not this):
http://i-am-a-hobbit.blogspot.com/search?q=bane
What does one do when reads something like that and hasn't seen said Gilbert in twenty years? One facebook stalks said guy, naturally. Married, has a kid, etc., etc.
And then one goes about her life. Which, since she has no actual work to do, involves grabbing her work computer and going to a new-to-her coffee shop with Angie in the middle of the afternoon in the middle of the week to hang out.
And one sits there mindlessly drinking her steamer and then...

 

WHAT!?!?!?!
For real!?!?!?! What are the chances?! I have not seen this boy in over twenty years! What is he doing coming into that exact coffee shop at that exact time?!
I gotta admit, I panicked. I quickly ducked behind Angie and my computer, glancing up every so often to see if he and his son were gone yet. But I think he saw me and may or may not have known who I was. 
I regret it now. I'm a grown-up for heaven's sake, and it would've been fun to say hi. We could've at least exchanged smiles. Had he recognized me that would have been the friendly thing to do, and if he didn't recognize me, it would've been polite.
But at the same time, I wasn't looking very cute, and if one is going to run into her arch-nemesis/crush, one should look hot, even if he is married, just to be sure he knows that she turned out well and he missed out.

Elementary School Enemy - Part One

Through jr. high I had a sworn enemy who was just plain ugh! From kindergarten on he was the bane of my existence. Aside from just being him, he had the nerve to beat me on tests and projects and stuff sometimes. So I always had to do extra well to be sure I was number one (or at least ahead of him). I remember especially in 6th grade, when we were basically self-taught/self-paced, a lot of the kids slacked off, but I worked hard, especially in math, in which I finished the book. So the teacher gave me a pre-algebra book to work on. But then a couple weeks later, this boy had the nerve to finish his math book. I was so mad. The teacher only had one copy of the book, though, so he gave it to that boy, and gave me an algebra book. I was so happy. My nose went so high up in the air. I'm sure I must've rubbed it in mercilessly. But I beat him, and that's what mattered.

Jr. high came and we switched schools so I didn't see him as much, but he was still him. Ugh.

so last night

a woman was trying to blow up a huge building/parking garage in order that she could take over the world and be supreme ruler person. i was in said building and knew of her plans, but she had her henchmen following me so that i couldn't tell anyone. finally i managed to dodge them and get into the gym (where most of the people were), and pull aside a few key people who i knew could help me. somehow we got the people to start leaving the gym and head for the garage, in the hopes that they could get out from there. the men i had found and i then snuck down a dingy, parking garage back stairway, hoping to sneak up on this woman (who looked like stockard channing) and her henchmen from behind. as we got to the bottom of the stairs and were about to go through the door, i looked back at one of the men, who it turned out was the bane of my elementary school existence, and said something along the lines of, 'when we open this door, that's it. we may succeed, or our lives may end. are you ready for this?' he nodded. 'oh yeah,' i added, 'i just want to tell you - i had a huge crush on you in 6th grade. let's go!' and i banged the door open, while he stood there looking at me thinking of the wasted years. then he joined me in the garage, as we saw how bad the battle was getting. the woman was killing amish people, for pete's sake. they couldn't get their buggies out of the garage.
eventually we got the battle out of the building and onto what appeared to be county fair grounds. the carnage stopped, and we were able to get a parley with her. i explained to her that being a ruler isn't all that it's cracked up to be. you have to go to state dinners, and go to meetings, and make public appearances, and do press conferences and all that. she was stunned. she hadn't thought of that. i was so smart. and so she decided she didn't want to be supreme ruler anymore. and so my gilbert and i bought her some licorice, and thus saved the world.