welcome to my world of compromise

i hate blended words. one of the best ways to make me cringe is to say "chillax." seriously, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
but i must confess - i have invented one. for as often as i say "frickin' ridiculous" or "ri-frickin'-diculous," it's much more efficient to have one word, namely "fridiculous."
mostly, it had to be invented for bradley cooper's eyes. they're fridiculous.

getting my hair cut tomorrow

as i'm looking for haircut ideas, i'm realizing that every time i look for haircut ideas, i'm drawn to mandy moore. good job her. these are what i'm thinking of this time.

problem is the 2nd is pretty much what i always do, but i'm just not sure i'm ready to commit to the shortness of the first. no matter what, i don't know how to do hair, and it's too thin to ever be beautiful, and so no matter what i'll be disappointed in it. if only hobsis and i could share. then she wouldn't have to have hers thinned, and i wouldn't have to spend time in tears because i'm balding.

what helped me get past the 'down' post (see below)

i just started following @TolkienBooks on twitter, so i was going through some of his pictures. i came across this:

he captioned it: "There's a feeling I get when I look to the West..."

yes. 
there's a desire to go West, go Home.
so i listened to 'into the west,' which is so restful and beautiful, and it helped get my perspective turned around (seriously, i should write thank you notes to fran walsh, howard shore, and annie lennox for the number of times it's helped me). someday i will get to lay down my weary head, and it will be glorious. in the meantime, it's okay if i'm weary. someday i will get to not be.

i don't expect you to read this

but the level of nerdery made me smile much:
http://www.planet-tolkien.com/board/11/2708/0/
on the difference between orcs and goblins

feeling down

nothing specific, just down and blah. prayer appreciated.

work search update

interview with a credit union on thursday

yes, there is a difference

when i first found this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=yX0UesfWdjU&NR=1, i thought a harry potter version of 'marry, date, or dump,' sounded fun. 'snog, marry, or stupefy'? fun equivalents.
yeah, they're not equivilants.
in some cases, the answers turn out the same, for example, matthew lewis, tom felton, daniel radcliffe. 
marry tom,

 date matt, 

dump dan. 

or
marry tom, 

snog, heck yeah snog, matt, 

wait, i'm sorry, can we just take a moment here?

snog, heck yeah snog, matt,

stupefy dan. 

the meanings are slightly different (thus the 'heck yeah'), but the answers are the same.
in some cases, however, the hp version suddenly wreaks havoc on your answers (and psyche). for example, aragorn, legolas, gimli. 

obviously marry aragorn, i'd date gimli (he could be fun to hang out with at a pub for a night), and dump legolas. 
but when you change that to snog, marry, stupefy? obviously still marry aragorn,

but then...ah! eew! i can't snog gimli, i just can't. but do i really want to snog someone who's prettier than i am? i have to choose to snog legolas, but that would be like snogging a girl! eew!

and that, my friends, is the difference between 'marry, date, or dump,' and 'snog, marry, or stupefy.'
the end

oh, this is just mean

josh groban ‏@joshgroban

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who need closure...

oh, another thing from yesterday

i was running late (which is bad for an interview - i got there at exactly 1:00), so i was zooming to the building from the ramp. i got to the door, and two black men (it doesn't matter that they're black, i'm just assuming you'd all assume they were white, so i'm clarifying to better set the scene, and because it made me even happier) were standing there talking. they started to head inside, and one very kindly opened the door for me. as i approached the second door, the other one said from behind me, 'don't you even think about touching that door!' and so i didn't and let him open it, and thank you sir-ed him. i of course had to keep rushing, but afterwards i felt bad that i couldn't have talked with them a bit after them being so kind, and at the beginning of the interview, when one of the women was telling me about the organization/position, i kind of spaced out a bit thinking how nice it was of both of those men, and how fun it was to have the second man order me to not open the door. it's the little things, you know. :)

hey, i don't think we've had this post in awhile (not for lack of need, simply for cuz i don't want to bore y'all away with the same post over and over)

go to bed, melilot dolly!

in my interview today

One question: "If you were a super hero, what super power would you like to have?"
Me, without hesitation: "Teleportation."
Them: "Wow, that was fast. You didn't even have to think about it!"
True, but seriously,
1) Who wouldn't want that as their super power?
and
2) Have they really not already figured out what power they would want?

here we go

there's a jewish organization that helps people find jobs. they have job counselors. i'm thinking i should go get me one. preferably a single, male, Messianic one. ;)

question

 


so if i'm exactly like one of zachary levi's close friends, that means zac already likes me right?

interview tomorrow

i have an interview tomorrow at 1:00 (fun to get there in this weather). i don't know that it's anything i want, but i have to take the interviews when they come, i think. it's for administrative asst/medical records technician at a place in st. paul, which is part of why i don't want it. i don't want the rush hour drive every day. also, the more i think about it, the more i really want schooling before diving into medical records again. i wasn't very sure of myself last time (probably because i was taken away from medical records, practically speaking, before i got it under my belt, so i was having to wing it, yet not being allowed to - i forgot everything). idunno. again a whatever interview. we'll see what comes of it i guess.

also

darin mastroianni's official shot makes him look like a hobbit.

also

we were in the front row above the camera well (next to the dugout) because my dad had won his union's seats. sadly i was not very cute, so there was no flirting from me with the players, but the girls next to me did have a brilliant idea. it was jackie robinson day, so everyone was wearing the number 42 to honor him. these girls: "oh, that's perfect! then instead of having to choose whose name to call, you can just yell, 'hey 42!' and they'll all come running!"

twins game tonight

thankfully we won, because then jacket, sweatshirt, long-sleeve shirt, long underwear shirt, jeans, tights, knee highs, warm socks, boots, gloves, mittens, scarf, hat, and blanket seemed a little more worth it.

Melilot Classic: Monday, January 07, 2008

I Love Tolkien

In 'The Fellowship of the Ring' (book), Gandalf tells Bilbo, concerning the Ring, 'It has got far too much hold on you. Let it go! And then you can go yourself, and be free.'

Wow. Now is that sin or what? 'It has much hold on you. Let it go!' Sin has a hold on us. But we are the ones who have to let it go. It is up to us. We can only be free when we turn our back on it. It only has a hold on us if we let it have a hold. We Must Let Sin Go!!!

good job, jo

gotta love all the tie-ins she makes. just started reading 'fotr' again, and while it's
something i already knew, it still made me happy when i read it.

"[Meriadoc Brandybuck's] remarks in the introduction to his Herblore of the Shire may be quoted. '...for ages folks in the Shire smoked various herbs, some fouler, some sweeter. But all accounts agree that Tobold Hornblower of Longbottom in the South Farthing first grew the true pipe-weed in his gardens...The best homegrown still comes from that district, especially the varieties known as Longbottom Leaf, Old Toby, and Southern Star. How old Toby came by the plant is not recorded, for to his dying day he would not tell. He knew much about herbs...'" - The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien

i found a new small group

so much good stuff tonight.
there's probably about 40 people (i'm a terrible guesser, though, so who knows). they start with prayer and recitation of the memory verse from the week before. then someone gives a message, there's a fellowship meal, and then they split into smaller groups (at least two women's and probably two men's).
it's interesting because these people are so different from me. these people have lived hard lives and are still going through struggles now, whether themselves or their families. but that means they have a wealth of wisdom that neither i nor my family nor my close friends possess. on my way home i bought a notebook to take with me when i go again, because there were so many good things that i've already forgotten. such a huge blessing.

from "The Crises of the Christ," by G. Campbell Morgan (long again)

Wow, this book is dense. Good stuff, though.
As a set-up to the heart of the book (which focuses on HIS birth, baptism, temptation, transfiguration, death, resurrection, and ascension), Morgan addresses why HE needed to come in the first place. He briefly touches on the fall, then talks about what exactly "separation from GOD" entails. It's terrible. He doesn't address particular sins, but instead what it means to be severed from our SOURCE of life, our True Essence.

And then:
 "Is there any reason why man should be redeemed, why the wreckage should be restored, why the instrument should be renewed?...The plain fact which must be faced is this, that there is no reason in the realm of righteousness, or of justice merely, why there should be any redemption provided for lost man."
But...
"And yet, there is a reason, so powerful, so conclusive and inclusive, that it may be reverently, and yet unhesitatingly affirmed that God is bound to find a way of redemption, and answer the call of a ruined race. That reason lies within the nature of God. It is that He is Love. Because He is Love, He must; and the 'must' has in it nothing of the declaration of human claim, but it is the affirmation of faith, based upon profound conviction. The reason of redemption lies in the heart of God...
"If God had been other than Love, man must have remained endlessly in the realm of ruin. But the very ruin of man included within it man's spoiling, and man's sorrow, creating a great cry which appealed to the Infinite Love of the Infinite Heart. The call of man in his ruin Love heard, and Love answered, in the gift of Christ, Who is Himself, to traverse the path of pain and suffering, to the final and absolute limit, that out of all this, man might be lifted into the realm where it will be possible to fulfill the initial purpose of his creation, and thus satisfy the purpose of God, which is the purpose of Love."

This all makes me very glad that the book is yet to come.

my class today (sorry, it's long)

today was the last day. the instructor, elna, from the first day was there again, wrapping it up (we had had different instructors every other day). i had to smile when a couple times i caught her trying to de-Christianize her speech. i said something about how for me it was great that i lost my job, because it had put me in such a bad spot, and she said, 'sometimes losing a job is a...' then quietly, 'there goes my faith background coming out again.' so i helped her out and said, 'it was a blessing.' then at the end of class she was wishing us all well and she said, 'i don't believe in l...well, good luck to all of you in your job search.' she then left, and someone came and gave us paperwork to fill out.
during class we had answered some questions, the first of which was something like, 'what do you do to deal with people's negativity when they say things like 'you can't'?' my response was, 'that's not the problem for me. the bigger problem is my own negativity. i'll tell myself i can't. or when people tell me, 'you should try...' i respond with, 'yeah, but...'' the next question asked us what job we were looking for, and what our two back-ups would be. the last question was, 'what are you looking for in a job?' i said, 'i like medical records, but really anything like administrative assistant, something like that would be fine. like i said at my last job, i'd prefer to work with paper not people. when i got the job in medical records i was excited because i could be in an office with files, but then with new ownership he made me be receptionist, and that was so hard for me. [then, wondering why i was still talking, and why i was so comfortable doing so] it really led almost to depression. i was close there. it's so good to be out of there. anyway, so something that would be behind the scenes is one big thing i'm looking for.'
on my way out the door elna stopped me. 'i have something i wa...here, let's step out here for a minute.' and so we stepped into the foyer.
'what church do you go to?'
'[a baptist one nearby]'
'oh, ok. well, my church has this program on wednesday nights that i thought you might like to try going to. it's called ___ and it's for people who are struggling with addictions, but it's not just that. it's also for people who are struggling with thoughts that are bringing them down, depression, the kinds of things you were talking about, anything. as you were talking, i was seeing you sitting in that group. because those are the things that get to us for the most part, it's not that outside stuff. would you like the information?'
now, call me racist if you want, but elna is black, so without the slightest hesitation i said yes. there's something about black Christian women that makes me trust them completely, trust their judgement, feel completely at ease but also somewhat awed. they always appear to me to be on a different spiritual plane. so if a black Christian woman is telling me that she was seeing me sitting in a group at her church, you better believe i'm going to go sit in that group at her church. if she were white would i? i don't know. if she were white would our relationship be like this?
so anyway...
i came home and looked up her church and the program, and the program looks a little 12-step-y, but it does say it is "not geared solely for substance abusers, but...attitudes contrary to God’s will for our lives. It deals with Attitudinal and Behavioral Problems as well. It will also provide you with “Accountability,” and Discipleship." not quite sure what all that means, but i have to go back to the unemployment place on monday, so hopefully elna will be there and available so i can ask her more about it, if there would be people like me there or if it's 98% people giving up alcohol or crack. i'll see what she says then, but for right now, i'm fully intending on going. she did say she'd love to see me there.

i think i just found my calling

guy i follow on twitter:
sammy rhodes ‏@prodigalsam

How is there not a frozen yogurt chain called Froyo Baggins yet?

now, the way i figure it, this is a win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win situation:

win 1) i found my calling

win 2) he gets to have his clever name out there for others to enjoy

win 3) i get to own something lotr-y

win 4) he gets royalties (such as free froyo)

win 5) other people get froyo

win 6) other people get something lotr-y

win 7) he's friends with zachary levi, so he can hook us up

win 8) my dad finally gets to get rid of me, as...

win 9) i live happily ever after

this was my reward for FINALLY finishing my homework for my employment class

http://i-am-a-hobbit.blogspot.com/search?q=ambitious+directorial
(sorry - this computer won't let me retrieve the video file to post it, so i just linked to where it was originally)
(update: apparently it also refuses to just show the post i want. so if you click on the link, scroll to the post that isn't this.)
(good grief)

blessing of the day

(well, every day has lots of blessings. so i guess i should word that, 'out of the ordinary obvious blessing of the day so far.')
last week when i signed up for the class thing that i have this week, i couldn't help but notice that the woman who signed me up was a Christian. i just knew she was. our entire interaction consisted of me asking how i was supposed to sign up, her telling me there was a thing explaining it at 10:30, me asking her at 10:45 about the thing since it happened yet, her apologizing and then giving me a paper to fill out, me returning the paper, and us wishing each other a good day. but i knew.
today she was filling in for the person who was supposed to be teaching the class. afterwards i had a question for her, so i waited for the person in front of me to finish. when he did, the lady turned toward me and said, 'can i give you a hug? i feel like i should give you a hug. is that weird?' i said, 'no, that's fine.' and then she hugged me and wished me a blessed day. i then asked her if she's a Christian. she looked a little like she was caught off guard, then said yes.
"i could tell, just when i came in and filled out that paper last week."
"really? wow. that's amazing. are you a Christian, too?"
"yes."
"you have a beautiful spirit."
"thank you!"
"it's so hard sometimes around here, when i'm teaching, i just want to say, 'praise GOD!' or something like that, but i have to remind myself that i'm at work."
"and, i'm guessing, that when you're dealing with people looking for jobs, you want to tell them to pray about it."
"yes! when they're getting discouraged and ask me what to do, i just want to tell them to pray, but instead i just have to think, 'well, i'll pray for you then.'"
she then had to run, because she had another meeting, but it so made my day, and i'm guessing it made hers, too. :D