oh mary, what have you done

in case watching 'chuck' and hearing the boy sing didn't do enough damage, i then, in watching clips on youtube, found the boy bearded (which i very much enjoy), and then later found this quote: “I can destroy the dance floor. I think life should be a musical. I always hate it when people watch a musical and they go, ‘Oh, it’s so unrealistic, no one just breaks into song in the middle of their day.’ Yeah they do – if they’re me.”

i've so quickly fallen so ridiculously in love.

can i just say

grand casino's '12 days of giftmas' makes me very sad. way to 147% lose focus.

advice of the day

as nice as an hour and half in a jacuzzi might sound in this weather, if your hands are already dry and cracked and bleeding, don't do it. it sort of makes it a little (lot) worse.

this just sounds wrong

['watching shows online, you only have to watch about 5 commercials, but they tend to be the same ones over and over. and so, while watching 'chuck' this weekend, i got to see norton antivirus commercials and that was pretty much all. in one of them they tell me to 'imagine this unicorn as you online checking accout.' then, in a big announcer voice:]

'would you allow dolph lundgren to manhandle your unicorn?'

Thanksgiving Eve

I was in college, but also working (retail, I believe), which meant that I missed some classes. I had a one-credit class on Fridays that I frequently forgot about. I would’ve gone if I remembered, but for some reason I always forgot it, and thus had missed 3 of the first 4 classes. I decided I better go talk to the professor.
(Oh, and side note: I also was going through some crappy personal stuff, which seemed to include getting out of a bad relationship with an intimidating looking bald (like shaved-head, not like old) guy.)
Anyway, so I finally went to talk to the professor. I was standing in his office waiting, when he came in through a door off to the left, shuffling through some papers. He looked up, saw me standing there, and broke into a wide grin. ‘Ah, so there you are!’ Professor Zachary Levi said. ‘I was wondering if you even remembered you had this class.’
‘Actually, professor, that’s the problem. It’s not that I don’t want to come to this class, it’s just that it’s only for one hour and it’s on Friday afternoons, so it’s easy to forget. I really can’t afford to fail it, so I was just wondering if there was anything I could do.’
‘We’ll just have to get you caught up. I promise I won’t let you fail.’

Next thing I knew, this conversation had happened a couple weeks before, and I was walking out of same said office holding hands with Professor Levi (and apparently there were no rules saying this was wrong). The side door to his office strangely enough led to his garage, and we were on our way to some worship service. (Oh, and he let me borrow his red scarf because it was cold.)

And then there was something with the bald guy showing up, and something with Zachary’s sister telling Zachary it was too soon for him to be with me (and that I was his student after all), and something with there being puppies, but somehow I knew it was going to be alright and Zachary and I were going to live happily ever after. And that was my night before Thanksgiving.

Congratulations, Josh Hamilton, on being AL MVP!

"...ever-present will be that backstory, irresistible even to Hamilton. But where outsiders might see it as a tale of redemption, it serves as a built-in motivator for the man who actually lived through it.

"'I do reflect," Hamilton said. "I think I lose sight of things and if I didn't reflect, a little ego might start sneaking in there, and that's one thing I don't want to happen. So I do reflect and I think about where I was at my lowest times and how God has brought me through that and sustained me since I've depended on Him. It's been absolutely awesome.

"'It's not good all the time as far as your days and stuff like that -- everybody has bad days. ... But there's someone there to help you through it and help you grow, and that's what I've been doing these last few years. I've been growing in my relationship with Christ and it's just awesome to think about where I am at this moment, and where I was.'"
- mlb.fanhouse.com

random thank you

dear chick magnet,
on one of the hardest nights i've ever had, you offered to drop everything and be with me. you may not have realized it at the time, seeing as i said no because i didn't want to be a burden, but i greatly appreciated it, and the thought got me through. so thank you, my dear.

love,

mel

30 Things

1. Twice I have clearly heard GOD's voice. Both times HE has called me 'MY child.' It's the most beautiful sound in the world.

2. My year of Bible school in Sweden was the best year of my life. While that could lead me to be disappointed that no other year will ever measure up, I believe I have a good perspective on it. I appreciate it for what it was and know nothing will compare, so I don't bother doing so.

3. When I was little I wanted to be a suffragette. Then I found out that women could vote. And that was the end of my women's lib-ness.

4. I have a passion for languages. Their words, their histories, their words' histories - I find them fascinating. The thought of languages dying breaks my heart.

5. My first celebrity crush was Davy Jones. Those 'Monkees' reruns, I tell ya.

6. My college roommate noticed that more guys would hold a door open for me than they would for her. I believe it's because I expect it of them. (And if a guy doesn't, he's automatically scratched off the potential husband list.)

7. When I was little I was not allowed to watch 'He-Man,' so I snuck over to the neighbors' to watch it. When, at 16, after years of guilt, I finally confessed, my mother laughed at me.

8. My sophomore year of college I very much struggled with depression. I went to the counselling center to look for help, but was too embarrassed to ask for help or even pick up a pamphlet. I also knew that if I was going to get help, it needed to be from a Christian, but seeing as we're trained to be happy little Christians and not talk about the bad stuff, I didn't know how to go about getting help. The thought of breaking my mother's heart is what kept me from overdosing on Advil.

9. This is the first time I've admitted that.

10. When I was little, in addition to wanting to be a suffragette, I wanted to be an ice cream truck driver. So I could eat the leftovers. I still think this is a good idea.

11. I tend to like movies where the couple doesn't end up together.

12. I want to study under a rabbi. Judaism is the foundation of my faith, and I would love to explore it more, without a Christian slant. I believe that only with a full understanding of Judaism can we get a full understanding of Christianity.

13. One of my favorite things to play in elementary school was that I was a Jew running from the Nazis. The cook told me I shouldn't tell people stuff like that. But I just did anyway.

14. I'm fatalistic, melancholy, and was first-chair violin in 5th grade. See? I really am a Jew.

15. I did all my high school papers on the Civil War. My dad is a Civil War buff, which meant that we had enough material in our house that if I did a report on it, I wouldn't have to go to the library.

16. J.R.R. Tolkien is my soul mate. Darn that whole I was born 90 years too late thing.

17. If I could go anywhere in the world it would be Wales. With Israel as a close second.

18. I've forgiven SDBGF, yes, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt sometimes.

19. My nicknames include, but are not limited to Freida Lou, Seven, Preshy-Weshy, Beef, Sheldon, Peter, Katie Scarlett, and oh yeah, Melilot.

20. My Diana has been my Diana for 24 years. I love that.

21. If I could own one object from the 'LOTR' movies it would be Sam's pots and pans. To me they show his enduring hope, his heart, his determination to succeed (and what he's fighting for), and in the end, when he throws them aside, he demonstrates his strength and resolve, as well as self-sacrifice. I love Sam.

22. Purple cousin and I made a pact when we were 15 that if either of us was still living at home when we were 30, the other one would shoot her. My 30th birthday is fast approaching. I'm hoping she's forgotten.

23. I grew up very Swedishly: family traditions, foods, Swedish dance, Swedish choir. I loved it. And a big part of my heart is still in Sweden. However, after my dad not caring about Swedish stuff my whole life, he came to pick me up in Sweden after school ended. He then became obsessed. Which turned me off of it. It makes me kind of sad.

24. I'd rather clean 6 toilets than one tub.

25. The best work day I've ever had consisted of me getting paid to spend other people's money to buy toys for Angel Tree.

26. I still have phantom pains where I bruised my butt a year ago.

27. I was extremely disappointed when I heard someone congratulate my chiropractor on his marriage a year or two ago. He's nice, funny, loves baseball, is just a bit nerdy, and I'm guessing is Jewish. He's not a Cuddyer fan, though, so it probably wouldn't have worked anyway.

28. I don't have a favorite color. I used to say it was orange because I felt sorry for it, but then my nieces thought that meant that I wanted all their orange candy. Who on earth wants orange candy?

29. Purple cousin once said that black guys liked her because of her big butt, and white guys liked her friend because of her big boobs. 12 years of singlehood later it dawned on me - I'm screwed.

30. I'm not faithful in prayer. I'm not faithful in Bible reading. I'm not faithful in making godly choices. Which is why this is one of my favorite Scripture passages:
"Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with HIM,
we will also live with HIM;
if we endure,
we will also reign with HIM.
If we disown HIM,
HE will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
HE remains faithful,
for HE cannot disown HIMSELF." II Tim. 2:11-13
I know HE loves me.

not to be totally cheesy, but...

prince william just saved a guy's life in a helicopter rescue in wales.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101121/en_afp/britainroyalsmarriagerescue_20101121204934
how cool is that? the man said, "'I feel lucky to be alive but even luckier to have been rescued by the future king.'" wow. that would be amazing. it made me think of the olden days of kings and knights and real-live royalty sweeping in and saving their people. and made me think something along the lines of, "if only something like that could happen to me. wouldn't it be fantastic to be rescued by the future king?"
and then it made me think, "hm...wait a second. i have been rescued. from so much more. by THE KING."
sorry, wills, but that's much more awesome.

my sad stories of this weekend

i was sick on friday, so i couldn't go see chelleybutton and autosmiler.
i was feeling better on saturday so i shaved my legs so i could wear a skirt to church today.
when i got up this morning and went downstairs, my father just started shaking his head at me. 'you're not going anywhere today.' apparently the roads are sheer ice.
dang dummy weekend.

two thoughts

1. why on earth would i agree to house-sit for a family with a dog when i hate dogs (especially that one)?
2. why on earth would a family ask me to watch their dog when they know i hate dogs (especially that one)?

and that is my sad story of how i will spend thanksgiving weekend.

yeah, i know it's not time for Christmas music

but...hobbitsister mentioned the fact that it's just wrong that barry manilow sings 'baby, it's cold outside.' the whole point of the song is to make her want to stay. why would she want to stay with barry manilow?

so that got me thinking. if i could choose anyone to sing it with, who would it be? harry connick jr? first one who came to mind, could definitely get me to stay. tim mcgraw? i'm sure he could be quite persuasive. james marsden? very tempting. but...after much thought and debate, i've decided that the lucky man with whom i will sing 'baby, it's cold outside,' is non-other than mr. hugh jackman.

we had power again at work today

which was nice, but not nearly as exciting

my type

i was chatting with chelleybutton the other day and said that artsy guys are not my type. but, i conceded that, if one were to ask me out, i would say yes, because, 'i don't see any baseball players or jews knocking down my door.' it made me laugh. :)

ok, so i just, in talking with my mother, referred to liev as my boyfriend of the week. sue me.

"It's like Little House on the Prairie, but with ice!"

yesterday at approx. 10:20, we lost power at work. this meant no lights, no ovens, no refrigerator, no microwave, no coffe machine, no dish machine, and no hot water. (the ice machine, however, is on the generator, so at least we had ice. *eyeroll*)
the meatballs had been put in the oven at 7:30, so they were warm enough, so we put them on bread (no water for mashed potatoes), and gave them coleslaw. (they just had to go without the second choice, which would've been made at the last minute.) thankfully, for supper they were having egg salad sandwiches (the egg salad was done) and chicken rice soup. the soup would have to be foregone, but later on they found a fish fryer that runs on propane, so they could heat up campbell's chicken noodle. sadly, the garbage disposal was out, so we couldn't dump the chicken rice soup, and of course, with no dish machine, the pots and pans started piling up. i told the night crew to call me if the electricity was still out when they left, so i could come in early today to do the dishes. they called me at 5:15 and said they were cleaning up (supper is usually at 5:30), i asked how that worked, and they said they had served at 4:30 since the dining room was fast losing light. there was still no electricity, so i would have to go in early.
this morning, when i got there, i was greeted by the sound of the generator and a lack of light. i zoomed into the building and found the cook and asked what the heck we were supposed to do now. 'i don't know. in 22 years we've never had anything like this happen.' ok then.
so cold cereal it was. (the walk-in refrigerator was cool enough that the milk was okay.) there is an emergency outlet that's not very strong, but it was enough to make toast and for him to puree the food for those who needed it (in the blender that was just getting rinsed with cold water between each use). the administrator and the cook went to mcdonald's to buy tons of coffee from a bunch of bewildered mickeyd's employees, and we went with that.
before that, however, the cook and i had the enjoyable task of getting rid of the chicken rice soup from the day before. it smelled so strong we couldn't stand it being in the kitchen anymore. and that was with the cover on. so we took the pot outside to dump the soup into a plastic bag and throw it in the dumpster. the cook took the cover off. we both ran away and almost hurled. you could smell it 20 feet away (and probably farther). we tried to get close enough again to do it. we both ran away and almost hurled. i have never in my life smelled anything more revolting. finally he got tough enough to go over and dump it. he grabbed the pot to bring it back inside. 'no! leave it out here! no one's going to steal it and we can at least air it out for awhile. that pot smells so horrible and we can't wash it. leave it!' so we did.
9:30 - still no electricity. no roast pork and green bean casserole. the walk-in freezer was cool enough, though, that we were able to grill (in the flurries) hamburgers, and the administrator and i ran to target to pick up chips and pop to go with it. (after all, we could put the pop on ice.) 'how many bags of chips do we need?' she asked me. 'when we used to have them on the menu we went through about 3 bags, so 3 or 4.' she bought 9. why does no one listen to me?
when we came back from the store at about 11:00, i walked through the kitchen and there was a horrible smell. i told the cook. 'ha. i just brought the pot in. i didn't want it near the grill.' lovely.
for supper, they're ordering pizza. after lunch, a church came by with coffee for us. a visitor volunteered to go to her church and bake brownies if we needed (we had frozen cookies we could use for coffeetime this afternoon, though). it was very nice of them both.
when we left at 2:00 today, there was still no electricity. the electric company said it could be 11:00 tonight before we get it. i once again told the night staff to let me know if i need to go in early to do dishes tomorrow. hopefully i won't have to, and if i have to, hopefully i'm able to this time. otherwise we're pretty much screwed for tomorrow.

things i hate about me growing up

*i no longer believe in the thought of being 'in love.' i don't know what those words mean. i see no need for them. it would be nice someday to love someone, but 'in love'? i don't really care.
*i no longer believe in dreams coming true. they're just dreams. get over them. why believe they can come true when you have yet to see it happen? dreaming leads to nothing but disappointment. be content where you are. dreams will haunt.
*my wonderful imagination, since about age 16, has been nothing but a curse. no guy is going to sweep me off to new york (with a chaperone, of course) to see the real santa, so that i can tell said santa that what i really want is something to adorn my left hand, and then said santa can give said guy a smile of confirmation so that said guy will know that the adorning of said left hand by said guy on Christmas Eve would be welcomed. and yet i can't stop my imagination from running wild. it sucks. it leads to nothing but a loathing of my state of being, discontentment, and hurt that GOD hasn't provided, and at this point i'm assuming isn't planning on providing, a mr. wonderful or even a mr. decent. then i get sad at GOD, and then i end up having to apologize to GOD for not being content with what HE has given me, because i know HE has given me, and will continue to give me, so much more than i deserve. i am extremely blessed. but the whole imagination thing is a thorn in the flesh that GOD refuses to take away. i hate it.

Movie Review: 'Defiance'

I don't have BOTWs anymore. Really I don't. I do, however, get on kicks. That would be why a couple weeks ago I watched 'Easy Virtue' and 'Girl With a Pearl Earring,' and tried to get 'What a Girl Wants' and 'Dorian Gray' out of the library (instead I had to be put on the waiting list for both). And that would be why, after seeing part of a PBS special and watching 'The Hurricane' (because of the book), I watched 'The Manchurian Candidate' the other night and tonight watched 'Defiance.' I'm on a Liev kick.

So anyway.

'Defiance' is based on the true story of the Bielski brothers, who in WWII Belorussia led a large group of Jews into the woods not just to hide from the Nazis, but to try to live free. They organized themselves into a community with makeshift houses, jobs, a school, and basically a military. They made do with what they had or stole what they needed, and weren't afraid to fight.

It was a good movie. Liev was excellent in his role as the more wild and brash brother (you know, I think he's underrated), as was Daniel Craig in his as the older, wiser one. I don't know who ever thought 'Hey, let's cast Liev Schreiber and Daniel Craig as brothers,' but they were alright together. Jamie Bell, as their younger brother, I think helped pull it together. (He was adorable, by the way.) (As was Mark Feuerstein. But then, we all know that I can't resist them Jews.)

There may have been a little something lacking, but I can't place my finger on what. Maybe it was just that the pointlessness of a 3 minute love interest for Liev annoyed me. For the most part, though, I liked it. And, as Liev said explaining why he did another Jews-in-WWII movie, the interesting thing about this story is that the Jews were not victims. They were fighting. It is a story that should be shared.

Book Review: "The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, & Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America's Pastime," by Jason Turbow, with Michael Duca

How's that for a title?
I loved this book. If you don't love baseball, you probably won't. Unless of course, you're kind of interested in baseball and happen to like fun stories about codes of honor. This book is full of stories about when it's appropriate to hit a batter, when one should do a take-out slide, what to do in a brawl, and so forth.
Basically the Codes boil down to one thing: Respect. Respect the game, respect your teammates, respect the opposition. If you don't, feel free to expect a ball to the head. (Or expect your teammate to get it. No matter what, retaliation is expected.)
There are other motives for retaliation, too. An example from the back of the book: "When he was fifteen, Tommy Lasorda had his autograph request snubbed by outfielder Buster Maynard. Seven years later, as a minor league pitcher, Lasorda got his revenge when he knocked Maynard down with three pitches in a single game."
Another: "In 1974, frustrated by his team's 6-12 start, Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis took the mound against the Reds, determined to hit every batter. he hit Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, and Dan Driessen and then walked Tony Perez, who just barely dodged four balls in a row. After Ellis's next two pitches barely missed Johnny Bench, Pittsburgh manager Danny Murtaugh pulled him from the game. After that, the Pirates went 82-62 on their way to winning the NL East."
And one not on the back cover that I enjoyed:
"...[Lou] Piniella, playing for Kansas City, responded to a brushback from [Jim Perry], a pitcher with Detroit, by charging the mound for the first and only time in his career. He later called it one of the biggest mistakes he ever made on a baseball diamond. That's because not long thereafter the Royals visited Cleveland, where Gaylord Perry was eagerly awaiting their arrival. When Piniella stepped in against him, he shouldn't have been surprised to see a fastball headed directly at him. 'Gaylord put one, I mean he put one under his chin,' said Indians outfielder Oscar Gamble. 'You know how you have to throw your bat and throw your arms and get out of the way and the ball is choking you? This ball choked Lou. He went down. Then he looked out to the mound and said, "Damn, I didn't know he had a brother."' Consider it a lesson learned. 'If I have any advice,' said Piniella, 'it's don't charge the mound of a brother who has a pitcher for a brother.'"
There are others. Many others. And they're all enjoyable. But I'll stop here to avoid turning you off and to avoid copyright infringement. Suffice it to say I enjoyed it.

seriously, what's with men?

last tues:
me [to the cook]: ugh. the activities people want m&m bars for coffee time on friday. i don't mind making m&m bars, but fridays are just too busy [that's when we get groceries and i was in charge of putting them away last week]. if i were here on thursday i would have time to make them. i could make them tomorrow, but i don't want to make them that far in advance, since this is their special halloween party and i want it to be nice. so i guess i'll have to make the m&m bars on friday.
later in the day:
me [to the cook]: maybe i could have karol make the m&m bars for me on thursday. she would probably have time. and they're easy enough. she wouldn't be scared to make m&m bars.
[i ended up not asking her to make them, but i did tell her the situation.]
last friday:
me [to karol]: ugh. i have to put away groceries and somehow find time to bake today.
karol: oh, the cook made peanut butter cookies for you yesterday so you wouldn't have to bake today.

remind me never to get married.