Alex Baze @bazecraze 

Anyway I can be alone without my thoughts?

i'd spoiler alert this, but you've all read deathly hallows

too many feelings in the last couple days. i need the weekend to come. i have this terrible feeling i'm going to break into tears tomorrow at work. losing one of my officemates to another office, losing the nice office for the not great office, knowing that would be different if i had my old boss (pastor's wife), stuff with one niece, stuff with the other niece, immediately followed by (since i'm listening to deathly hallows) fred's death, pastor's going away party, and now knowing that i'll be looking for another church. just too much. and tomorrow i'll listen to the end of dh, which means neville, which means i get teary, which means, in this state, i'll probably start crying.

Happy Birthday, Neville!

needing to find a balance

since i'm reading 'catching fire' (immediately after reading 'the hunger games', immediately after watching both movies), as well as being in the middle of 'the two towers' and listening to 'the deathly hallows' on cd, i decided that i should watch something lighter tonight, so i watched 'enchanted.' i had being doing well with that movie since figuring out that i was watching it wrong (http://i-am-a-hobbit.blogspot.com/search?q=i+need+a+giselle), but tonight i failed. and so, to get over the lighthearted loneliness, i'll now be going back to reading about government mandated killing.
somewhere there must be a happy medium.

terrible thought of yesterday

what if you had your period while in the hunger games?

good job, boys

when miranda lambert asked blake shelton why he never told her she was fat (after she gained weight), his reply was, "it's not my job to tell you you're fat. it's my job to tell you you're beautiful."
chritian ponder to pregnant (or had just had a baby - they kept the pregnancy secret, so the media doesn't know for sure when the baby was born) wife sam, "you'll look great in whatever you wear...unless it's ugly."

my day

after not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep last night, it was a very difficult decision whether or not to go to church. i was so tired and headachey. but i skipped last week, so i figured i better go (just later than my usual late). i went, came home, and let myself rest/sleep for about 45 minutes. i then got up and ate a bagel, some cheese, and a banana. i continued to be tired, but i didn't dare let myself sleep longer cuz i need to be able to sleep tonight.
so i went through the afternoon, and at about 4:00 i noticed i had something on my shirt. i could not figure out for the life of me what it was. i checked and my nose wasn't bleeding. i checked and didn't find any other wounds on me. it didn't really look like blood, but i couldn't figure out what else it was as i hadn't eaten anything drippy. i racked my brains. had i? no, nothing. so i sniffed it, and it smelled like soy sauce. why would it smell like soy sauce? i hadn't eaten rice. oh my gosh, had i eaten rice? had i eaten rice while having a seizure, so i just didn't know? i was awfully tired. the kind where i start to be careful just in case, cuz i don't want to have one. i started panicking. i can tell when i've had a seizure, though, and i didn't remember having one. oh my gosh, am i that sick? i haven't felt the best the last couple of days. am i sick and not knowing what day is what? is it a different day from when i ate the bagel and i don't remember and i've eaten a different meal since then? oh my gosh! totally freaking out. i debated going and asking my mom if i had eaten rice, but then i wondered if i should be getting up. should i lay down? oh my gosh. what is going on?!
but then, as i thought of my mother, i remembered that she had made meatballs. i had put them in the fridge about an hour before. it was meatball juice. thank the dear Lord.

dear fb friends (esp the Christian ones),

i really have no desire whatsoever to see pictures of you in your swimsuits. you wouldn't post a picture of yourself in your underwear; why do you think a swimsuit is any different? and for those of you who would justify it by saying 'well mine is just a selfie. it's not like i'm showing my beach bod or anything,' it's still more than i want to see (or less than i want to see, whatever way you care to word that). and friend with a strapless bikini, with your waist up shots? i don't want to see that! also, have any of you thought once about your male friends? bad enough to do that to them at the beach. don't help the devil attack them on facebook, too.

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal." - Pope John Paul II

of all the vote morneaus i've seen on twitter, this might be my favorite

Laurel @WinTwins.net ‏@wintwins

Otherwise Joe Mauer will make this face at you and he won’t even give you a Kempswich. #VoteMorneau pic.twitter.com/vjXU6CVpI6

:/

i can't find my travel journal

oops

today i was late for church and they did communion early, so i missed the bread :/

Melilot Classic: Monday, November 02, 2009

I love Sam

"A dead end," muttered Sam; "and after all my climb! This can't be the top of the tower. But what can I do now?"

He ran back to the lower storey and tried the door. It would not move. He ran up again, and sweat began to trickle down his face. He felt that even minutes were precious, but one by one they escaped; and he could do nothing. He cared no longer for [the orcs] Shagrat or Snaga, or any other orc that was ever spawned. He longed only for his master, for one sight of his face or one touch of his hand.

At last, weary and feeling defeated, he sat on a step below the level of the passage-floor and bowed his head into his hands. It was quiet, horribly quiet. The torch, that was already burning low when he arrived, sputtered and went out; and he felt the darkness cover him like a tide. And then softly, to his own surprise, there at the vain end of his long journey and his grief, moved by what thought in his heart he could not tell, Sam began to sing.

His voice sounded thin and quavering in the cold dark tower: the voice of a forlorn and weary hobbit that no listening orc could possibly mistake for the clear song of an Elven-lord. He murmured old childish tunes out of the Shire, and snatches of Mr. Bilbo's rhymes that came into his mind like fleeting glimpses of the country of his home. And then suddenly new strength rose in him, and his voice rang out while words of his own came unbidden to fit the simple tune.

- The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien

sorry

i feel like these have been some mind-numbing posts lately. i'll get something better soon, i promise. i hope.
[oh heavens. i originally wrote 'tweets' instead of 'posts.']

it's a good thing this isn't white

or i'd have to find someone for a marriage of convenience
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/pisarro-nights-sleeveless-beaded-gown?ID=834707&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=SPECIAL_OCCASIONS%3DFormal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D232%26ruleId%3D%26slotId%3D12

Happy 4th!

1. Sammy Rhodes ‏@sammyrhodes

   Calories don’t count on 4th of July right?

   
   
2. 
   

   Ryan Rike ‏@ryanrike

   @sammyrhodes not if you declare independence from them!