i'm thinking of starting a support group

all this week i have to go to a class thing at the work force center so i can learn how to look for a job. now, being me, my only thought is that i'm hoping that the guy i saw walking in as i was walking out my first time there will be having to take this class at this time, too. 
i was telling my brother this, and said that in reality, it might not be the best time for me and this random guy to hook up, since we're both unemployed. but my brother said that since this guy and i are in the same place right now, we should start a support group.
"a support group? and what would we support?"
"each other! you're both in the same boat, i'm sure you could help each other out."
"so i just say, 'hey, do you want to start a support group with me?'"
"yes! you say, 'hey, i know what you're going through. if you ever need to talk to someone, here's my number. feel free to give me a call.'"
"ah! so i'm not actually hitting on him. i'm just trying to be supportive."
"yes. it'll make him be the one to make the move."
"so i'll be letting him know i'm interested, but without being a hussy."
"exactly!"

since chelley didn't like the honest 'les mis' trailer...

i hereby present the honest 'lotr' trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOIi9SjJvgU

i don't know why i can't learn this

to me, when my mother asks me to do something, and i say, 'yes, i'll do it,' i mean, 'yes, i'll do it.' (especially when she leaves the cleaning product sitting out, so i can't forget.) to my mother, when she asks me to do something and i don't do it within an hour or two (even if it doesn't need to be done til the next day, and there's plenty of this day left), it means i'm not going to do it, because i'm a lazy little...
and so, when i got out of the tub, i discovered she had cleaned the one thing i was supposed to clean, and had gone to bed. my thought is, 'seriously, you know i'll be up for another hour or two and the cleaning product is in front of the computer. even if i did forget until this point, which i didn't, i couldn't miss it.' but i know her thought is, 'that little....i ask her to do ONE THING!!!' complete with a whole bunch of scary muttering. i'm not mad at her for thinking that. it's more that i'm disappointed that she's again disappointed in me, when she really shouldn't have to be. and i can't apologize, because if i do, it means that i'm bringing it up, which means she'll get mad all over again, when i honestly do feel bad and i honestly did have good intentions. i would've done it before i went to bed. i'm just not good at doing things not under the buzzer.
i don't know why i can't just learn to do things when she mentions them. well, i do know why. it's because i'm inconsiderate. if it means that much to her, i need to just suck it up and do it right away. stop being so dang self-centered, melilot.

I so like this Pope

He reminds me of the Bishop from "Les Miserables," and you can't get a much higher compliment than that.
 
"Pope Francis washed and kissed the feet of a dozen inmates at a juvenile detention center in a Holy Thursday ritual that he celebrated for years as archbishop and is continuing now that he is pope... "This is a symbol, it is a sign — washing your feet means I am at your service," Francis told the youngsters. "Help one another. This is what Jesus teaches us. This is what I do. And I do it with my heart. I do this with my heart because it is my duty. As a priest and bishop. I must be at your service."...Previous popes would carry out the foot-washing ritual on Holy Thursday in Rome's grand St. John Lateran basilica. The 12 people chosen for the ritual would always be priests..."..."[Pope Francis' action] shows the all-embracing love of Christ..." [said Rev. James Martin]." - 'Pope washes feet of young detainees in ritual,' Nicole Winfield (http://news.msn.com/world/pope-washes-feet-of-young-detainees-in-ritual)

(also, this is sad, but it shows that the church needs this man  http://news.msn.com/world/pope-francis-foot-washing-final-blow-for-traditionalists)

"If the trailer for 'Les Miserables' was honest."

http://www.happyplace.com/22611/if-the-trailer-for-les-miserables-was-honest

fantasy baseball

It makes me really happy that in Yahoo's Fantasy Fantasy Baseball Draft (fantasy baseball with fictional characters) Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez was drafted first overall. :)

"Remember kid, heroes get remembered, but legends never die."

Movie Thought (Not Really a Review): "He's Just Not That Into You"

sure seemed long

frustrating

on the library website you can keep a list of books you want to read someday, so that then when you're looking for something to read, you can just look and click and order it. for some reason lately it'll claim it saved a book to my list, but then the next time i sign in, it won't be there. it makes me so mad! often it's just a book i heard mentioned by someone that i hadn't heard of and thought sounded interesting. as if i can remember the titles and authors of them all. urgh!

i like this idea

"I want to see a movie I love cut together using only the second best takes where things "almost worked" and see how it changes things." - Eric Appel

happy birthday, my cuddyer!

i hope you had a smiley day! :)

(i'm very disappointed that there is no way [that i can figure] to do dimples on an emoticon - please know that the sentiment is there.)

Tough Love

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mt%2023&version=RSV

Reading about the woes JESUS proclaims in Matthew 23 can make HIM seem harsh. Basically it can sound like HE only loves the down-and-outers and it's too late for the scribes and Pharisees. But while yes, it can be read that way, and yes, JESUS has every right to judge and condemn sinners, HIS heart was breaking for them. Here it is, days before HE's crucified, and these are the words HE chooses to basically be the last the scribes and Pharisees hear from HIM. HE's not just proclaiming woes, HE's instructing them: "¹⁶ “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If any one swears by the temple, it is nothing; but if any one swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ ¹⁷ You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred? ¹⁸ And you say, ‘If any one swears by the altar, it is nothing; but if any one swears by the gift that is on the altar, he is bound by his oath.’ ¹⁹ You blind men! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred?" [italics mine] Yes, HE's calling them dimwits who are on the road to hell, but HE's showing them the mistakes they're making and telling them what the true way is. No, HE's not pulling any punches, but that's because they're thick-headed and this is their last chance to hear what HE has to say. Either HE breaks them or satan does; they have a choice and HE wants them to make the right one. And so far they haven't listened to HIM. HE wants them gathered unto HIM (vs.37), but they refuse.

It's interesting, too, how JESUS words it in verse 37: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem..." The "O" obviously shows intense feeling, an ache. But there's also the fact that HE said, "Jerusalem" twice. Only two other times in HIS earthly ministry does JESUS use a name twice; in Luke 10 when speaking to Martha about the 'one needful thing', and in Luke 22 when speaking to Peter about his return after his denial of HIM. These are two of HIS closest friends. These are two situations in which it is vital that they listen to HIM. They are also moments of absolute tenderness. In saying "Jerusalem" twice, CHRIST is showing that it's vital that these people listen, vital that they know that HIS great desire is for them to repent and for HIM to be able to hold them in HIS arms. HE's showing them how much he cares for them.

The woes JESUS proclaims to the scribes and Pharisees are not a condemnation. They are a final call to repentance, a final call to those HE loves.

interview update

didn't get a call for a second interview. the nice thing is how much i don't care.

Book Review: "The Harbinger," by Jonathan Cahn

My brother doesn't read. He just doesn't. So when he started talking about a book he was reading, and one with a Biblical slant to it at that, of course I had to read it to see what made it worth it to him.
"The Harbinger" is about prophecies against ancient Israel (and their outcomes) that ring frighteningly close to modern-day America. The primary verse used it Isaiah 9:10: "The bricks have fallen, but we will rebuild with hewn stone; the sycamores have been cut down, but we will plant cedars in their place." Many times since 9/11 have our political leaders used this verse as a way to inspire the nation. Only problem is that this isn't a promise; it's a curse: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=is%209:8-21&version=NIV. Now, any time you have prophecy-centered literature, you have to remember that it's one person's interpretation, but it's crazy the parallels he draws from it. He's got everything from the turning away of America from GOD to the collapse of the Towers to the Tree of Hope at Ground Zero to the Recession to quotes from various politicians (including George Washington) and more. It's crazy. Very interesting stuff.
One thing, though, is that in the book his main character (a journalist who is learning all this stuff) is told to put it into a novel format because then it would reach more people. There is probably truth to that (it was a New York Times Best Seller), but I wish he had written it as non-fiction. The subject is interesting, but the writing is terrible. Several times I had to stop reading just because I couldn't take any more of its poor quality. However, I can't complain about that too much, I suppose, since it got my brother to read, and something Bible-related at that.
I'll recommend it, as long as you remember to focus on the content, not the style.

wycliffe night

nothing struck me. there were about 20 of us there, and basically it was a slide show presentation/skyping with a girl in papua new guinea. i'm just not an on-the-field person. the little bit that i was hoping to hear was happening stateside actually mostly takes place on the field, and again, that's just not me. i did hurt for a pastor from one village who desperately wants the Bible in his language for his people, but the missionary who was there had to come back for whatever reason. now there's no one to work with him. those stories always hurt. i guess maybe i'm meant to be a sender or something.
i'm glad i got a definite 'no' (or 'not now'), though. it kind of stinks, because i'd rather do something i'm passionate about than work a regular job again, but at least i don't have to wonder 'what if'.

how had i never heard this song before?

it's so romantic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_di8lfyOzyw

a good reason to love zachary levi

Zachary Levi ‏@ZacharyLevi 

"“@JenniferRN84: Zac I’m feeling troubled. What do you recommend?” Open, honest convo with God. Just let it rip. And read Psalm 139. So good."

important interview question

i have decided that when someone goes for an interview at the wizarding world of harry potter, one of the questions should be, 'what house are you in, and how would you use the qualities of that house as an asset in this job?'

the interview

it went well, i think. the lady was easy-going, which in turn put me at ease. also putting me at ease was the fact that i don't really care if i get it, and i could look at it somewhat as a practice interview. it's a catholic nursing home, and their chapel is right inside the door, so when i got there i heard a piano playing hymns, which made me realize again how much i had appreciated working in a faith-based home, so i was comfortable there.
the job sounds like it could be okay, more administrative than medical records, but as long as it's background stuff, i don't really care that much. i liked that this director of nursing seemed more professional than my old one, too.
also, she has other interviews to do, which means that if i get a second interview it won't be until the middle of next week (she'll call me by monday), which gives me time to talk with the wycliffe people and pray about other possibilities.
thank you so much for your prayers!

Movie Review: "Silver Linings Playbook"

When I first heard about this movie, I was curious, because that was all I heard - that it was about to come out. It looked romantic-y, so I was wondering if I might want to see it. Then I saw some of the clips, and whatwith Jennifer Lawrence's character having some having-sex-with-everyone issues, I figured maybe it wasn't something I wanted to see. But when I heard it had good depictions of psychiatric disorders, particularly bi-polar, my interest was piqued again. And then of course there was Oscar buzz, and the more I heard and saw things about it, the more I wanted to see it. And then my aunt and cousins said it was good and didn't mention anything sex-y about it, so I decided that yes I wanted to see it, and of course, the sooner the better. So when Chelley came this weekend and we had to figure out things to do, I came down heavily on the side of seeing this (although she didn't balk at all anyway).
I really, really liked it. Another one where the credits came and I was left sitting there thinking, "that was really good" (though really I had been thinking that through the whole thing, wishing it could've been a mini-series or something so they could've fit more in there). I did think it did a good job of portraying bi-polar disorder - Bradley Cooper gave an outstanding performance, capturing subtleties and saying so much with his facial expressions. Jennifer Lawrence was great, too, though I don't know that it was an Oscar-deserving role. Nothing against her acting, there just wasn't enough to the role to make it Oscar-y in my opinion.
I liked how they portrayed his family as well. It showed the effect the disorder has on the person's loved ones, both the struggles they have and the love they have for the person. Robert DeNiro was excellent as a father who is all man, having difficulty relating to his son as doing so would force him to make himself vulnerable. The rest of the cast is wonderful as well.
It's a beautiful movie, and I highly, highly recommend it.

This is a video someone made with clips from the movie, to "Unwell," by Matchbox Twenty. If you want an understanding of what a person with bi-polar disorder is going through, I think this does a fabulous job portraying it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnLAsEMzIqA

An Irish Blessing

i'm not one for cheesy-greeting-card-sounding poems/blessings, but my mom sent me this (in a nice video card with pretty pictures of ireland), and i thought it was nice. so forgive my moment of maudlinism.

"May the blessing of light be upon you, light on the outside and light on the inside. With God's sunlight shining on you, may your heart glow with warmth like a turf fire that welcomes friends and strangers alike.
May the light of the Lord shine from your eyes like a candle in the window, welcoming the weary traveler.
May the blessing of God's soft rain be on you, falling gently on your head, refreshing your soul with the sweetness of little flowers newly blooming.
May the strength of the winds of Heaven bless you, carrying the rain to wash your spirit clean, sparkling after, in the sunlight.
May the blessing of God's earth be on you and as you walk the roads, may you always have a kind word for those you meet.
May you understand the strength and power of God in a thunderstorm in winter, the quiet beauty of creation and the calm of a summer sunset.
And may you come to realize that insignificant as you may seem in this great universe, you are an important part of God's plan.
May He watch over you and keep you safe from harm."
by Phil Coulter

"My radio morning show informed me that the #1 reason people unfriend peeps on FB is because of sharing about diet/exercise." - my pastor's wife

prayer request

i made a pact with myself to not blog for a week. i have to break it, though, because i wanted to let you all know i have an interview tomorrow at 1:00. it sounds like something i could do, nursing administrative assistant. basically it has some medical records and some administrative asst stuff, and no receptionist stuff. my hang-ups are that it's 25 minutes away (w/o snow), and i don't know, part of me feels like i'd be selling out, getting a job so soon. this is the one time in my life when i can try something different, have an adventure. i have no idea what that would be or how to go about having one, but if you only got one shot, one opportunity...would you capture it, or just let it slip, yo?

addition (for those of you who haven't seen this yet):
one specific thing to pray for would be that if there's a job offer it would come after the weekend. on sunday i'm going to an informational dessert night deal that some people from wycliffe are hosting. i'd like to check that out before i decide anything, and i wouldn't know how to ask the job people for that time. (i'd like to have a few days after that, too, frankly.) i've looked into wycliffe before and had some reservations, but i don't know if that was the timing or what. i'd like to have a chance to think and pray that over before deciding anything.

Movie Review: "Once"

I'm sorry! I know I've been overdoing it on here lately. One of the pitfalls of being unemployed I'm afraid. I was going to try to lay off a bit (if for no other reason than I don't get as many comments when I do so many posts and I like comments), but tonight I watched "Once," and I just can't not review it.
It's an indie movie about a guy and a girl (who you realize, once they get to the credits, are never named) who meet on the streets of Dublin as he's playing music there. Turns out she plays the piano, and the movie then takes place over a week-long period in which they team up to write and record songs for a demo disc he's making. It's just a sweet, simple story, with lots of music. Being indie, it has that slow feel to it, but it's only an hour and a half, so it doesn't feel like it drags on.
The acting is great. Marketa Irglova especially stands out, in that she doesn't stand out at all. All of her acting feels real. I also tend to like the cinematography in indie films, and this one doesn't disappoint, with the whole hand-held camera feel at times.
I was liking the movie as I watched it; again, it felt slow at times, more so toward the beginning, but I was liking it. Then it ended, and I sat through the credits, and I thought, "I really liked that movie. That was a really good movie. I really liked it. I did, I really liked it. Good movie."
And so, my conclusion is that I really liked it, and definitely recommend it.

Side notes: 
1) I like her voice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBLDP0Etp3Y
2) I'm not as sure about his voice. I don't mind it, because I do like indie music, but there are definitely some songs he sounds better on than others. When I first heard the Oscar winning "Falling Slowly" sung by the two of them I thought, "Ooh. Really? The song might be pretty, but not so sure about the performance." Having seen it in the context of the movie now, though, I like it much better. I can feel it better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzQ9VrnNQLQ
3) Josh Groban's version, however, is beautiful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oUUG4LpQI0

i miss ie

i really don't like that firefox won't let me color my links

volunteer opportunity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpW3gi-fJj0

(it's only 31 seconds)

Book Review: "Glaciers: A Novel," by Alexis M. Smith

Enjoyable story of an average day in the life of a non-exciting woman. There are some stories about when she was younger so you get a better idea of who she is and where she's coming from, but that's all. It's just short and sweet and to the point. Except the last 20 pages. The last 20 pages are dumb with their attempt at sentimentality. But the pages are really short (small book with huge borders), and it's such fast reading that you don't get bogged down in them. Overall, I'd recommend it.

politically incorrect joke of the day

"Jokes about stuttering - hahahahahaha!!" - sixthformpoet

auto - this probably better explains where i'm coming from

http://kingdomcivics.com/2012/03/10/the-amazing-thing/

' ...[In] times of peace we get, perhaps (and naturally and for the purpose rightly), too engrossed in thinking of everything as a preparation or training or a making one fit - for what? At any minute it is what we are and what we are doing, not what we plan to be and do that counts.' - J.R.R. Tolkien

My Alphabetical Biography List: St. Kateri (Tekakwitha), first Native American saint

"Kateri Tekakwitha: Mystic of the Wilderness," by Margaret R. Bunson

Most of the hermitages at my prayer retreat place are named after saints. A couple years, ago, though, I stayed in the only one that's not - Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha. Right away she piqued my interest because she was Native American. I hadn't heard of any Native American saints. Probably because at that point there weren't any. She since has been sainted (or however you word it).
Kateri (born Tekakwitha) was a Mohawk maiden, daughter of a chief, born in 1656. Her mother was a Christian, but died of smallpox when Kateri was 4. When Kateri was about 14 some Jesuit priests came to her tribe and started leading people to JESUS. She became a Christian, though it's said she always had a spiritual nature, and one that balked at the religion of her tribe. By 1677 life with the tribe was becoming dangerous for her, as people couldn't understand her devotion to CHRIST. As the daughter of a chief, her position was more precarious than others, because many believed that to become a Christian was to give up their culture. And so it was at that point that she moved to a Jesuit mission. She thrived there with fellow Native American believers, observing their culture and their faith. She died in 1680, a woman of prayer and devotion, well-respected, and well-loved.

my next book

currently i'm reading my 'k' book, but the book after that will be "glaciers," by alexis m. smith.
from the inside flap:
"Isabel is a single, twentysomething thrift-store shopper and collector of remnants, things cast off or left behind by others. Glaciers follows Isabel through a day in her life in which work with damaged books in the basement of a library, unrequited love for the former soldier who fixes her computer, and dreams of the perfect vintage dress move over a backdrop of deteriorating urban architecture and the imminent loss of the glaciers she knew as a young girl in Alaska...For Isabel the fleeting moments of one day can reveal an entire life. While she contemplates loss and the intricate fissures it creates in our lives, she accumulates the stories - the remnants - of those around her, and she begins to tell her own story."
so far, so good.

job search goodies

Out of the kindness of her heart, Kimberly once in awhile tries to help free me from the church-y cliches that hold me (and many who have grown up in the church) back. Most often that cliche is the one about "doing something for GOD." She sees how discontented and frustrated I tend to be, and tries to show me that that's not what GOD wants for me. Now, as I'm jobless, I run an even higher risk of falling into the trap of wanting to know what GOD wants me to do.
Today she sent me this:
http://sarahbessey.com/in-which-god-does-not-want-to-use-me/ 
(which, as she pointed out, can be used as job search time :) ) 
Hearing that GOD doesn't want to "use" me, but instead walk with me is a liberating thought. Which is probably why I'm balking a bit. But what if I want to be used? I can best be "used" by walking with HIM and allowing HIM to overflow my life. "Used" implies works, "walking with" implies relationship, which implies grace, which implies it's HIM, not me, which implies liberation from discontent and frustration. The hard part is that discontent and frustration have been part of my life for so long they're comfortable. They're not scary. I know what to expect from them. But wait - am I not the girl who's bored and wants adventure? Am I not someone who wants to do something different, try something new? Why not this? I may not know how to go about life without these things holding me back, but wouldn't it be exciting to try, with GOD's grace?

p.s. I also read this: http://sarahbessey.com/in-which-i-have-evangelical-hero/

prayer ministry flip

Today's Baseball Chapel's meeting focused on prayer. (I know because you can find the hand-outs on their website.) At the end of their session, they were asked to spend time in prayer "for your family, chapel leader, teammates, coaches and fans. Ask God to use you to demonstrate Christ's love to them." They prayed for me this time. :)

Thought at church today

Today in church we sang "Hosanna," by Hillsong United:

I see the King of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing
[Chorus]
Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest [x2]
I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
[Chorus]
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from Earth into Eternity
[Chorus x2]
Hosanna in the highest 

Now, normally I see/hear/sing/understand "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," as me asking GOD to care about orphans and homeless people and all that. Today, though, it hit me: HIS heart breaks for me, too. It breaks for all the time I don't spend with HIM. It breaks for all the times I disobey HIM. It breaks for all the times I tell HIM I'll do something and then don't do it. I break HIS heart.
LORD, break my heart for all the times I break YOURS, that I would truly, completely repent, that I would truly, completely walk with YOU.

my problem

 

i was just watching an old episode of bbt, in which sheldon lost his job because he 'won't kowtow to mediocre minds.' sounds a little familiar. :)

girl power!

feeling single. switching music from josh groban to adele now.

nice to know there are other geeks in the world

my pastor's wife is just finishing reading (well, listening to) "the disappearing spoon" :)

in case you haven't been there in awhile,

you all should really go to http://hobbitsister-soapbox.blogspot.com/

"To be stagnant is to be lost. To stand still is to be held captive by these brains that work against us…if we don’t ask them to work with us. And we’re not meant to do this alone." - Sara Kelm

26 years together, and i still surprise her

apparently i'm just that complex.
when i told my diana recently that i liked josh groban, she was surprised that i would like someone who sings like this, 'AAAAAHHHHHH' [all operatic]. i said, 'of course i do! he has an amazing voice! him and andrea bocelli - i love them!' because how could i not?
joshua: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV_G3mnCq14
andrea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxgW_RgsHL4
but then, this is the same girl who was surprised i like:
the shins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ayVyQWD8hk
i'm not quite sure what music she thinks i like. i should ask her. but really, i like almost anything. my cd collection has:
linkin park: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZQrMqdv54I
johnny cash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZPToXstS8M
tree63: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkNpy_0BvX8
harry connick, jr.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynywAGYgLAA
gladiator: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kln605W1r3E
i hate luv storys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLnNqCgsziM 
rich mullins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-61MaWETiU
grease: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW0DfsCzfq4
(i'll stop here.)
if anything, she should be surprised that i have some women in my collection. i tend to not like women's voices as much. but i do have these, and about two others:
adele: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri7-vnrJD3k (ok, not the cd version, but i like it - she actually was getting over a cold, which i think makes it sound even more soulful)
shakira: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDFmmE8DMic
oh, and i suppose evanescence would count as female:
evanescence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82v0kX95EY0 

don't worry - i'm not expecting you to click on all the links. click on whatever you want. like the first two. i know you want to click on the first two.

unemployment

to get unemployment, you're supposed to think of job searching as your full-time job - at least 30 hours a week. i am sorry, but even if it wasn't me doing this, i would still say, what the heck are you supposed to be doing while job hunting to possibly make it take up 6 hours a day? that's ludicrous. no, i don't think people should get the money to sit on their bums, but honestly? 6 hours a day? i can make it a goal to do 4. maybe if i had to i could stretch it to 5. but seriously? 6 hours a day?

i tried damning the snow to hell earlier today. sadly not even hell wanted it.

i look at job search websites and i just want to cry

why can't there be a job where they just leave me alone?!?

prayer ministry update

haven't done one of these in awhile. i'm dutifully still praying for my player everyday, but it's rushed and unfocused. so far i have not been using my time off as i should be. seeing as i'm the only one who can do anything about it, i need to do something about it. my player deserves to have a warrior who will fight for him fully. and GOD deserves to have a warrior who will fight for HIM fully.

love it

my mom scolded me for not hitting on my cousin's wife's woo-woo brothers yesterday. "knopportunity ocks just once!" 
i sent her to bed.

from guy i follow on twitter

Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze

You're boring your haters.

now, either that's a compliment meaning i'm doing so many wonderful things that my haters have nothing to complain about, or it's a challenge. he's not a Christian, so i doubt he meant it as a challenge (actually i'm guessing that he meant it as an insult - that i'm so boring, even my haters are bored with me), but if i look at it as a challenge, then clearly it means that i'm not doing enough to make myself hated by the world. which is sadly true. i need to work on that.

from "The Disappearing Spoon" - the Phrygia part

So you know how everything King Midas touched turned to gold? Well, apparently that's true. Kind of, almost, sort of. 
"A number of different alloys with different ratios of metals all count as bronze, and bronze metals around the ancient world differed in color depending on the percentages of tin, copper, and other elements where the metals were mined. One unique feature of the metallic deposits near Phrygia was the abundance of ores with zinc...What's interesting is that zinc mixed with copper doesn't form bronze; it forms brass. And the earliest known brass foundries existed in, of all places, the part of Asia Minor where Midas once reigned[...]bronze is shiny, but with overtones of copper. You wouldn't mistake it for anything else. The shine of brass is more alluring, more subtle, a little more...golden. Midas's touch, then, was possibly little more than an accidental touch of zinc in the soil of his corner of Asia Minor[...]Naturally, it's impossible to know whether the contemporaries of King Midas believed that his precious zinc-laden bowls and statues and belts were actually gold. But they weren't necessarily the ones making up legends about him. More probably the Greek travelers who later colonized that region of Asia Minor simply grew smitten with the Phrygian 'bronzes,' so much brighter than their own. The tales they sent home could have swelled century by century, until golden-hued brass transmuted to real gold, and a local hero's earthly power transmuted into the supernatural power to create precious metals at a touch. After that, it took only the genius of Ovid to touch up the story for his Metamorphoses and voila: a myth with a more-than-plausible origin."

if you don't want your children to hear language comparable to marky mark's

don't let them near me while i shovel

one problem with deciding to eat more healthfully

i have a lot of junk around that i can't afford to waste. but i want to be able to get healthy soon, so i want to be done with junk as soon as i can be. unfortunately, this is leading to me eating more than normal so i can get this junk over with. perhaps my for psyche diet will end up being a for physical diet after all.

Book Review: "The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements," by Sam Kean

If you have to read about the periodic table, I guess this is the way to do it. You learn some about the people who discovered and worked with various elements (Marie Curie was a ho...mewrecker - and one of her guys ended up getting knocked out with a chair by his angry wife [good job, lady]), other science going on at the time (the first tests on testosterone were done with thousands of pounds of pureed bull testicles), and places where elements were discovered (such as Phrygia). The Phrygia part was probably most interesting to me. Oh, but I also liked learning about the nerdy prank science nerds play on their friends. Apparently gallium melts at 84*. So what the nerds do is make spoons out of it, then offer their friends tea. When the friends go to stir the tea, the spoon melts into the tea. It disappears. And then their friends are left to either think it was a good trick, or to wonder why their friends were trying to kill them with whatever poison clearly ate away the spoon.
But anyway, back to Phrygia.Wait, nevermind, that part is too long. I'll do another post.
So anyway, back to the review. I'm not a science nerd, so this book had it's dull moments, but thankfully I really don't care what the properties of elements are, so I could skim over parts that talked about equations and electrons and whatnot. I just liked the stories.

this is hobbitsister's fault

she showed me the clip of josh groban singing kanye west tweets. which was so funny it made me decide that i might marry josh groban. so then i watched more clips of him. and dude, seriously, where have i been the last two years when he suddenly got smokin' hot?! have i always been in love with his voice? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsoRzS-5FaE) of course yes. but he had terrible hair and wore pleather jackets and turtlenecks.

where the crap did this come from?

or, of course to me at least as wonderful, if not more so, this?

that means this is him now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eknYc3wIdB8 [that note at 2:34 - ooh, gives me shivers every time]. good grief. as if i need another guy on my potential husband list.

grammar question

is that correct? can i say that my mother and i will drive 'each other' crazy? or is that just an accepted form? should it technically be 'one another,' since there are only two of us?

one way in which my mother and i will drive each other crazy

me: i'm going to stick in this cd [which we both like]
mom: i was going to watch a dvd
me [annoyed, cuz if she was going to why hasn't she already, then i wouldn't have gotten my hopes up for a cd and would've been ready to put up with a family film]: oh, okay, why don't you do that. i can listen to this later.
her: [no response]
she then proceeded to hum and sing for the next 15 minutes, followed by sticking the movie in in a different room.
really?

why do people share about their workouts on facebook?

that's all. just wondering.

just a thought

i'd never really thought about it, but i wonder if my lack of motivation, lack of belief that dreams can come true, and ability to see how nothing will work out (so why try) is related to my tendency toward depression. a friend of mine who, as she puts it 'struggles with bi-polar' just wrote a blog post about living life in standby mode, one part of which said,

"But most of the time, at least in my life, I am not waiting on anyone else…I am just not being an active participant in life. I am letting it pass by me, allowing it to go on without much thought, and lacking much interest in how it impacts me until I am so unhappy about something that I stomp my feet and say, “Stop! This isn’t how I wanted it to be.”But I had not taken any time to consider how I did want it to be.  I had not actively done anything to make it go differently.  So when I get to point B without realizing I had left point A, I want to blame everyone else rather than looking in the mirror."

to which a friend of hers responded, "I sure am living my life in the standby mode. I make myself angry because I am so lazy or undisciplined when it comes to doing most anything. Mostly it takes a crisis mode for me to get going. I need so much help and prayer in this area of my life! Is it still depression that is causing this or what?? Frustration abounds!"
i know other people struggle with standby mode and all that i said there at first, but is it more prevalent or more amplified in those of us (yes, i know i'm undiagnosed and do remarkably well, what with only one real depressive period, and only a handful of other times when i've felt myself to be borderline) who struggle with depression? is that where i get the feeling that life is passing me by and i wish it would just be over with? (not in either a suicidal way or an escapist way or in a longing for Heaven way, just in a 'i'd be so okay with this being over cuz it's pointless' way.) not that depressive tendencies would be an excuse, but sometimes i look for explanations of myself in order to try to deal with issues. it's like the difference between having absence seizures and knowing you have absence seizures. at least if you know what it is it seems more faceable, and perhaps you can do something about it. i just wonder if it's all related.