i so wish i liked going to church

but we all know i do not. so i was going to skip tomorrow, even though i skipped last week and basically every other week except those when my cousin has told me her son is singing in church.
however. i just remembered that i shaved my legs tonight for church tomorrow, and cut myself badly enough that there was skin left in the razor. i refuse to have that be for naught.
it makes me really sad that that's the reason.

#1 thought since being on eharmony

i don't really care and kind of want to stay single

struggling

I'm struggling with something right now. It's something I want to do, but God has told me no, and I've been pretty strong in it for the last few years. But something has brought it up again, and it's tempting to give in. Easier to give in.

I found this quote in my likes on twitter:
"We are revealed in our passions not in our concessions; shaped by our struggles not by our resignations." - Rabbi David Wolpe

My thought was, yes, I am being shaped by not giving in to this struggle. If I resigned myself to giving in, I would be giving up on being shaped into the likeness of Christ. But as I posted the quote on facebook, I started pondering what exactly the first half of it means. "We are revealed in our passions not in our concessions..." And it hit me. The fact that my passion for God is greater than my desire to concede this area of my life to the flesh should be showing me something about myself, mainly that I truly do want to be like Christ. This is extremely encouraging. Rather than condemning myself for struggling, I can remind myself that this struggle is not my passion, God is. This struggle does not define me. And yet I am shaped by it, shaped into Christ's likeness when by His grace I stand strong. Praise God.