a project for spring break
as we all know, i very rarely leave my house other than to go to work. i don't know where to go, so i just don't go anywhere. i know this is a problem, but lately i've been noticing more and more how difficult outer stimuli is for me.
yesterday, as i always complain about having to wear pants, hobbitsister again told me i should buy leggings. i objected that then i'd have to go shopping. she said that's the nice thing about them - you don't have to try them on or anything, you just grab a pair you like and you're good to go. i responded that i'd still have to shop for a shirt. she said that that's easy, just find something at target.
no. that's not easy. 'just find something' is not easy for me. more than once i have had employees ask me if i'm alright, because i've shut down and i'm staring at things. more than once i've had to put down everything i had come for and leave a store because i was too overwhelmed.
my sensitivity to noise is getting worse, too. i think one (amongst many) of the reasons i haven't been reading as much lately is because my parents make noise; the tv will be on in the den or my mom will be humming in the other room. at work, the heat/air-conditioning goes off at 5:00; i breathe a sigh of relief every time because the noise of the vents stops. i'm listening to audiobooks because music is noisier.
so, while i have been saying i need to get out of the house or i'll never meet people, i think it's getting to the point where i need to get out of the house in order to be able to continue to function in every day life. so sometime this week, i need to leave my house for something more than just returning books to the library. i'd like to make myself do it twice, but as i already have to do taxes and clean i don't want to commit myself to another day of doing something i don't want to do. hopefully i will, but i'm not going to make myself commit to it.
it's a tad pathetic that this is what it is coming to, but i need to do it.
yesterday, as i always complain about having to wear pants, hobbitsister again told me i should buy leggings. i objected that then i'd have to go shopping. she said that's the nice thing about them - you don't have to try them on or anything, you just grab a pair you like and you're good to go. i responded that i'd still have to shop for a shirt. she said that that's easy, just find something at target.
no. that's not easy. 'just find something' is not easy for me. more than once i have had employees ask me if i'm alright, because i've shut down and i'm staring at things. more than once i've had to put down everything i had come for and leave a store because i was too overwhelmed.
my sensitivity to noise is getting worse, too. i think one (amongst many) of the reasons i haven't been reading as much lately is because my parents make noise; the tv will be on in the den or my mom will be humming in the other room. at work, the heat/air-conditioning goes off at 5:00; i breathe a sigh of relief every time because the noise of the vents stops. i'm listening to audiobooks because music is noisier.
so, while i have been saying i need to get out of the house or i'll never meet people, i think it's getting to the point where i need to get out of the house in order to be able to continue to function in every day life. so sometime this week, i need to leave my house for something more than just returning books to the library. i'd like to make myself do it twice, but as i already have to do taxes and clean i don't want to commit myself to another day of doing something i don't want to do. hopefully i will, but i'm not going to make myself commit to it.
it's a tad pathetic that this is what it is coming to, but i need to do it.
posted by melilotnfosco | 12:00 AM
8 Comments:
Now we can help keep you accountable! :) It's so true though that it gets worse when you avoid it. :/ I've said before that yes, Bible-reading and prayer help draw you nearer to God, help you in your spiritual walk, but I believe another effective way is to do something that you know you could only do with God's help. Maybe this is that. Maybe it's easy for other people to do, but that doesn't negate your faith in doing it even though it's hard for you, and God notices that. Maybe start with things that aren't as intimidating, such as taking a walk? Or going to a movie? (Or maybe that isn't easy because of the volume.) I'll be praying for you! (And you don't forget to pray either. :) )
Thank you. "Maybe it's easy for other people to do, but that doesn't negate your faith in doing it even though it's hard for you, and God notices that." is very encouraging. :)
I agree. ;) And you're welcome! So where did you go yesterday? :)
I haven't gone anywhere yet. I was going to go shopping after going out for lunch with my brother today, but it ended up getting late and my parents were at church and I wanted home alone time.
Well, you went out for lunch with your brother.
well, yes, but that's not overwhelming. :)
today i went to jcp for over two hours. :/ but i survived it, so go me.
Way to go!!!
I have a body that also gets more and more sensitive the more I try to take care of it. It's a delicate balance to try to make things more workable but not so workable that my body decides to find some new interesting problem. My doctor wants me to eat as many different types of foods for exactly the reason that my body seems to be looking for new allergies (which is part of my chronic illness -I realize this sounds a bit odd!)
Anywho- way to go!!
How's the church thing going with the noise problem?
thank you. i truly love how encouraging all you ladies are. i'm so thankful for all of you. :)
sadly the church thing has not been going, or rather, i have not been going. i went to sunday school with my parents a couple times in november and january, but i think the last time i've been in a church service is when i visited chelleybutton for her halloween birthday. oh, and i went to scout's church in chicago when i was there in february.
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