How to Update a Resume

1) Say for months that you need to update your resume
2) Find a job that looks worth applying for so you have to update your resume immediately
3) Turn on the computer to update your resume
4) Turn on the computer the next day to update your resume
5) Realize that you asked people to write recommendations by tomorrow so you had better do your part, since it's now the third day you've turned on the computer to update your resume
6) Buckle down to update your resume
7) Play online solitaire