church today

i went to church today, and it was fine. it was a huge struggle to get there (such that i didn't go to the one i was planning on because first i was running [i think slightly purposely] a little late, then i sat in my car wondering if i really wanted to do this). i chose a church that i had been to before that i knew would be mellow. i also knew the preaching wouldn't be fabulous, but i didn't care. i knew i needed to go to church and i knew i couldn't handle a louder one. i'm glad i went. this probably isn't the church for me, but i may go for a few weeks just to convince myself again that i can.
i know i sound over-dramatic, but this has become a legitimate struggle for me. so we'll see how this goes, because i don't know what else to do.