my prayer retreat - pt. 2 - warning: long

i guess there was something on my last day there. something that once again got my head spinning. something that i'll never have figured out.
one of my friends, when i asked for prayer requests gave me this one: "that Christ would make Melilot Brandybuck more and more like Bartimaeus in Mark 10: instead of asking Jesus what he wants Melilot Brandybuck to do for him, letting him ask Melilot Brandybuck "What do you want me to do for you?"
it irritated me immensely. i knew my friend was being nice, and i appreciated it, but it still irritated me. GOD knows what i want. i've asked for the same things for years. did this friend think i haven't? what does that even mean? "pray that you will tell GOD what you want"? what kind of weird prayer request is that? and so i ignored it, simply telling GOD, 'YOU know what i want. i want to want to read my Bible. i want to want to pray. i want to have a great passion for YOU....and YOU know i want a husband, but really, i know that doesn't matter, so that's okay.'
then, after a couple days, knowing that this friend is a deep spiritual thinker, i thought, 'okay. maybe i'm being too superficial and not digging far enough. and so i opened my Bible and found bartimeaus. and saw that he did not ask for anything spiritual. he had a physical need/desire and asked for that. now, i'm not comparing my singleness to his blindness. his blindness was far more of an obstacle (especially in that culture) than anything i've experienced. but it was not something he needed spiritually. and so i decided that this is something i could ask, knowing that HE cares about my desires.

BUT!...this is where it gets confusing
(and to break up the long, i'll make a pt. 2b)