shouldn't have joined a dating website
i don't like it. i don't like responding to the emails, i feel like i'm stringing the guy along (though i spose that's mostly cuz i can't drive, so i can't meet him anywhere, but he doesn't know that), the guys who look most attractive to me (not that they've contacted me) are divorced and i believe it would be Scripturally wrong to date them, it makes me tense up, and i just plain don't like it. i've paid for it, though, so of course i'll stay on there, and at least in the end i'll be able to say i tried it, but why oh why can't i just meet a guy the old-fashioned way? i remember purple cousin being worried when she didn't go to college that she'd never meet a guy because where do you meet them outside of school, but she got married at 20, and here collegeified me is single at almost 32...and wondering where the heck you meet them outside of school. ugh. again i just want to throw a shoe at my life.
but then i look at it from the other side and i think, any guy i would want deserves better than me anyway. it's better than i'm single. but ugh!
but then i look at it from the other side and i think, any guy i would want deserves better than me anyway. it's better than i'm single. but ugh!
posted by melilotnfosco | 6:28 PM
21 Comments:
I think that's how it should be in a way -- that you think you don't deserve the guy, and he thinks he doesn't deserve you. Of course, we don't deserve grace either, but we still accept it. So at some point I think we do have to just give in and say, I don't deserve this but I'm happy and humbled to receive it! (or we risk being like Javert!;) I didn't like online dating either, but it does work for a lot of people. If it helps at all, I got the most guy attention in all my life when I was 33 and now 34! Well, and maybe when I lost weight in high school and college (both sophomore years, I think; maybe junior in h.s.), although I didn't know what to do with it then. Huh. I still don't. I was just thinking that today... I've said in the past that this isn't my fault, it's not God's timing, etc. But you know what? I kind of think it is somewhat my fault. Even if I'm not doing it on purpose. Even with all these guys paying me attention, it still isn't happening. Maybe it's me... but with God all things are possible, so that's hopeful.
Oh, and has the guy asked about meeting? Or do you mean you're just not bringing it up and ignoring his subtle attempts to? Because as we've discussed before, you could find a way, if he wants to. And I think in person can be so different from online, so if you get a chance, meet! (I never got to that point when I did it, but I also did eHarmony which had so many questionnaires first, ugh.)
I think you should take Chelley's approach and go to all the RP events you can...apparently that's where all the eligible men are :-P
:D (except he's not running anymore)
However, Minnesota loves Ron Paul too. They were one of the states to go majority to him at the RNC. So I bet you could find some awesome guys there. :) I can put you in touch with one, but you won't want him. But he probably knows others. :)
However, there is a drawback. As one of my [RP guy] friends says, Ron Paul guys are awkward. (I say, as long as they're not the creepy version of awkward, that's OK with me:)
Actually, maybe you would like my friend. He's Jewish. :) But he's 40-something and short. And brought his pet cat on a leash to a liberty event in rural Iowa, lol. (See what interesting people you'd meet??:)
i like jewish, but beyond that, um, no.
and the online guy hasn't brought up meeting, but he did ask if maybe we should start talking on the phone since my computers have been so crappy. you know, like truncating with lots of symbols so it looks like i'm swearing at him.
and you said no? might be good to hear his voice
also, thank you for continuing to update your blog so i have something to read/comment on. nobody will update mine.
i haven't answered. i'm guessing i'm going to say no at this point. i'm tempted to ask him if we can cool it til feb.
and hmm...nobody will update your blog, huh?
Aww, what harm is it to talk on the phone though? :P
How do I put this politely?
Don't be ridiculous! Of course you deserve any guy who will respect and love you!
That said, I agree with Chelleybutton that in a healthy relationship, both people feel like the luckier one. AND I love this, "So at some point I think we do have to just give in and say, I don't deserve this but I'm happy and humbled to receive it! (or we risk being like Javert!;)"
Also, you know my opinion on how to meet guys outside of school :-) Volunteer and join all kinds of clubs and travel and take adult education courses and help out at church and do all kinds of things outside the house and workplace.
Until you can drive again, you can always wrap yourself in layers upon layers of winter clothes and hop on a bike hehehe... besides exercise, the good thing is if you slip on ice you'd be well cushioned for the fall ;-) Sorry, a bit of silliness at your expense. I don't know either what can be done these days without your own car or decent public transportation. Or a free chauffeur.
>:D<
i can't ride a bike
bus or meet somewhere close and walk. a taxi would also work. but of course this may not even happen. you may talk on the phone and that's where it ends, but you won't know until you do.
he lives an hour away, so it's not that easy
Oh. Well, that's annoying. But he should volunteer to drive to see you anyway, so you could still meet somewhere close to you, I think. And February's not that far away -- you could try talking on the phone in January. Remember you sometimes overdo it on the practical/logical side, remember? Think about what you'd tell us to do in such a situation.
what they all said.
and hee hee that you can't ride a bike.
and don't consider yourself an old maid. one of my roommates got married at 30. another at 35. and i just went to the wedding of a friend who's 43 (yes, first marriage).
regarding whether or not mr. perfect deserves you - everything they've said is right. a girl should think her man is wonderful. that doesn't mean he's too good for you.
one thought - a former youth pastor used to tell his kids (particularly the girls, since all they thought about was marriage) "don't spend all your time thinking about what your perfect spouse will be like. rather, spend that time focusing on how you can be the best spouse for him."
if you don't think you're good enough (a point which, incidentally, we all disagree), figure out how you can be better. for example, you said recently that you weren't good enough for a certain guy because he has a spiritual depth that you don't and you'd end up dragging him down. well, how could you build him up instead? if you think your walk is suffering, put more focus there.
thanks mom
and i don't think i'm an old maid, i'm just thinking i'm ready to be done with the whole thing. which is why i shouldn't have signed up for a dating website.
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