one way not to surprise me

with food. especially sweets, especially after 8pm. an example:
tonight my father came home at 9pm with shamrock shakes. and i am the ungrateful little brat for not wanting one. i had just had a piece of chocolate cheesecake. i wouldn't want a shake if i had eaten that at 2pm, because of all the fat calories, but when i had just finished the cheesecake and was then expected to choke down a shake, i wanted to throw up. but since it hurts my dad's feelings if you don't take a gift from him, i had to drink over half of the thing. so now i feel like i'm going to explode, plus i feel gross.
the other, used to be chronic, example:
my dad would come home from work, and at 5:00 tell me and my mom and brother to get into the car to go to ocb. okay, my brother and i snacked all afternoon. all the time. and so we were never hungry when we got there, and then my dad would get mad because here we're at an all-you-can-eat buffet, and neither of us ate much. (granted part of that is also that i don't like ocb food, and the fact that i get absolutely repulsed when looking at the size of many of the people who eat there so it's hard for me to choke down more than a small salad with no dressing. but still - i'd be able to eat more if i had a warning.)
if you want to ask me if i want to go out to eat or if i want ice cream or whatever, fine. that can be a pleasant surprise. but for heaven's sake, don't just surprise me with food!