where i'm at spiritually
i'm bored. extremely bored. prayer bores me (okay, so it always has), the Bible bores me, going to church bores me, having to be good bores me. and what the heck is the point of being good if you don't care about the rest of it anyway? but then, my life is boring, with no opportunities to be bad, so i guess that's really a moo point.
i'm not even feeling like i wish it was different. i just don't care. i guess maybe somewhere down deep i do, but it doesn't really upset me that overall i don't.
it could be just that i'm bored in general. like i said, my life is boring. and yes, i know, most people's lives are. but i wish mine wasn't. i caught myself the other day wondering how long it had been since i had fun; not how long since i had done something exciting, but how long it had been since i had just had fun.
six days off is too long. too much time to think. and for me, thinking never ends well.
i'm not even feeling like i wish it was different. i just don't care. i guess maybe somewhere down deep i do, but it doesn't really upset me that overall i don't.
it could be just that i'm bored in general. like i said, my life is boring. and yes, i know, most people's lives are. but i wish mine wasn't. i caught myself the other day wondering how long it had been since i had fun; not how long since i had done something exciting, but how long it had been since i had just had fun.
six days off is too long. too much time to think. and for me, thinking never ends well.
posted by melilotnfosco | 2:22 PM
16 Comments:
Does having fun make you less bored though? I dunno, for me I don't think it's enough (not that I'm always having fun though; don't misunderstand me). I guess you could look at it as you're blessed that you're bored because it means you're not going through bad drama. But I hear you, sometimes I think I'd rather have the drama. (I think. I'm probably wrong.)
I like the sound of "moo point" much better than "moot point," I hope you keep it. :)
of course i'm keeping it. that was a moo point. it's like a cow's opinion. it doesn't matter.
i've been failing miserably on the prayer thing for the past few months, and i'm really starting to see it seep over into everything else.
the problem is, i know what the problem is and i have no motivation to fix it.
Have you tried written prayers, or short repeatitive prayers?
I find trying to explain to God what I think about Him or all the things I'm concerned about is frankly tiring, and feels useless since I know that He knows all this already. Often I find it easier to start when the words are already there.
by written prayers do you mean like from a prayer book? cuz i've kinda tried it, but then it just seems like the Bible to me, which is also boring right now.
possibly, but I find long written prayers boring as well.
I'm thinking more of doing the offices or some varient of that. Short specific prayer and Bible reading throughout the day.
i don't know about things like offices
Take up fencing.
explanation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liturgy_of_the_Hours
There seem to be a lot of resources like this:
http://www.missionstclare.com/english/
You could also put together your own offices. There's nothing really official. It's more the idea of having your day centered on prayer- refocusing throughout the day. Rejoicing always.
The church of England will email you:
http://www.churchofengland.org/prayer-worship/join-us-in-daily-prayer.aspx
I haven't started this, so I won't vouch for it being wonderful, or for these sites, but I have heard good things. I think I'm going to make Oswald's My Utmost part of my offices as I've been meaning to read that through again.
fencing?
You said, you're bored in general and you've had too much time to think. Well, fencing is interesting and exciting (I think), plus it forces you to focus on something so you can't really think about anything else. Athletic hobbies are always good.
Also, it seems very "royal". And Middle Earthish.
Plus, (and this may or may not be the main reason...) I've always wanted to take up fencing. Since there are no fencing places near me, I figure I'll live vicariously through you. I hear they are much more common up north.
Seems logical to me... when you have my special brand of logic that is...
hm...that would be an idea. and it would be good for me to be able to hold my own if the orcs managed to somehow get past samwise. (though that would be highly unlikely, it never hurts to be prepared.)
but as for athletic hobbies always being good, yeah, i'm not to sure about that. plus also, i have no idea where to learn to fence.
then you could add it to archery as one of your skills
exactly! (archery is cool too!)...
As for athletic hobbies--I don't mean "sports"...just hobbies that get you moving like fencing...or archery...or ... karate... or some other cool weaponry that burns calories while looking awesome...
*like* :)
Or DDR? I like to think it's preparing me for a zombie apocalypse (Rule #1: Cardio)...
But I do agree with you, that's a great idea. Plus also, you'd meet other fencers. Maybe Auto could join you someday, she knows how to fence. (So weird. And cool.:)
(HM, once again I'm wanting to "like" your comment, right down to the "my special brand of logic.":)
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