but what about when HE doesn't answer?
from Twitter:
Zachary Levi
In my experience darlin, that's a question for Jesus. RT @RacheLara91: @ZacharyLevi how do you get over the love of your life?
Write what you know. Isn't that what they say? That's not easy for someone who doesn't know anything. But sometimes things come out of your pen anyway. This is what I wrote on my way to Tacoma back in September:
There was an empty seat beside me. At first that's what it was. An empty seat. However, as I watched the passengers around me, squished three in a row, it became noticably empty. Not that he and I had ever flown anywhere together. It was never like that with us. We were never together. Not technically. We were best friends, yes. We sometimes referred to us as "we," yes. But it was never anything romantic.
So why did that seat feel so empty? Why did I feel like I should be able to rest my arm on his arm? Why did I feel like his shoulder should be overlapping onto mine? Why did I still ache after six years?
Six years. That's about twice as long as we actually knew each other. But by the end of those three years, he was buying me flowers and taking me on picnics. I was holding him as he grieved for his friend who had committed suicide. Things were right when we were together.
And then it ended. He didn't answer phone calls, he moved, he changed his email address. Finally a year ago I found his sister (whom I had never met) on facebook and asked her how he was doing. It was good to hear he's doing well, single and living and working in Iowa. There were no answers to the real questions - why did he vanish being the main one - but at least it was something.
I don't know why I'm thinking of it now. Maybe it's the old Asian couple across the aisle who are all cuddled up next to each other. Maybe it's the eighty-year-old woman two seats over who's also travelling alone. Maybe it's the fact that my aunt and uncle have arranged for me to meet a guy they know almost as soon as I get off the plane.
But the one thing I do know is that he's the one thing on my mind right now.
Zachary Levi
In my experience darlin, that's a question for Jesus. RT @RacheLara91: @ZacharyLevi how do you get over the love of your life?
Write what you know. Isn't that what they say? That's not easy for someone who doesn't know anything. But sometimes things come out of your pen anyway. This is what I wrote on my way to Tacoma back in September:
There was an empty seat beside me. At first that's what it was. An empty seat. However, as I watched the passengers around me, squished three in a row, it became noticably empty. Not that he and I had ever flown anywhere together. It was never like that with us. We were never together. Not technically. We were best friends, yes. We sometimes referred to us as "we," yes. But it was never anything romantic.
So why did that seat feel so empty? Why did I feel like I should be able to rest my arm on his arm? Why did I feel like his shoulder should be overlapping onto mine? Why did I still ache after six years?
Six years. That's about twice as long as we actually knew each other. But by the end of those three years, he was buying me flowers and taking me on picnics. I was holding him as he grieved for his friend who had committed suicide. Things were right when we were together.
And then it ended. He didn't answer phone calls, he moved, he changed his email address. Finally a year ago I found his sister (whom I had never met) on facebook and asked her how he was doing. It was good to hear he's doing well, single and living and working in Iowa. There were no answers to the real questions - why did he vanish being the main one - but at least it was something.
I don't know why I'm thinking of it now. Maybe it's the old Asian couple across the aisle who are all cuddled up next to each other. Maybe it's the eighty-year-old woman two seats over who's also travelling alone. Maybe it's the fact that my aunt and uncle have arranged for me to meet a guy they know almost as soon as I get off the plane.
But the one thing I do know is that he's the one thing on my mind right now.
posted by melilotnfosco | 9:02 PM
14 Comments:
sorry. i know you've all heard this before...like for the last 6 years. i do try to not dwell on it. but i went to a wedding today and had no one to sit with, and he really should've been there for me.
Here are my thoughts on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s5xsVHOJQs
i just think it's so weird that he dropped off the face of the earth. why do people do that?
love you chelley :)
someone, it may have been the danish indian gypsy, said that it may have been the suicide thing that did it. he may have just wanted to shut out the outside world, including the one he was closest to, and since there was no established relationship between us there was nothing keeping him from doing so. everyone deals with grief differently, and while i might be stoic and/or want to ignore it by continuing to laugh and go out with friends and all that, he was always the more sensitive one and withdrawing and moving home may have been his way of dealing with it.
i suppose that could be. it's still weird though.
Weird yes, but certainly not the first time I've seen someone run off and hide when things got too difficult to handle. ...way too often. I hate it.
Praying for healing for both of you.
oh- not Josh, just in case any of you start to worry! I forget sometimes that we don't all see each other on a regular basis!
Praying for you often, loving you from afar.
don't worry, kimberly, we didn't think josh. :) and yeah, i don't know if that's why sdbgf is gone, but it seems to make a little sense.
and thank you both for your prayers. it was such a wonderful feeling when i finally forgave him a couple years ago. it would be nice to stop thinking of how he should be with me at other times.
between him and how many times i've listened to 'how am i supposed to live without you' since i found out cuddy was leaving me, i can't help but think that it's good i've never had a real break-up.
Thank you. I love you too. :)
Do I know about the "suicide thing"?
it's in the post
Sigh. I swear I read it through the first time. Can we just delete all these comments that make me look like a complete, insensitive idiot?
you don't look like a complete, insensitive idiot. it's a long post. sometimes even if you read it, things get kind of overlooked.
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