alright, fine, it's not just the smoking
my wednesday night church is having a valentine's day party next friday. they've mentioned it the last few wednesdays, saying that all can come. it's not just for married people or single people or whatever; it's for everyone. tonight the pastor's wife was talking it up and she said, 'single men, come. you might meet your ruth. she might be there gleaning. single women, you could be somebody's ruth.' (more on that later.)
after she went on for a bit, the pastor who's in charge of the sober houses (not her husband), jumped up and said, 'men from [these houses], your ruth is not in [these houses]. women from [these houses], your men are not in [these houses]. we want better for you. you are where you are right now so you can get your lives on track, get where you need to be, get your focus on GOD. you can go to the party, but your ruth isn't there. don't be gleaning there. that's not what you're striving for right now.'
i liked that. and i immediately thought, 'oh. yeah. duh. didn't think of it like that. mr hottie pants can't be noticing me right now, even if he didn't smoke. and i can't want him to.' and seriously, boom, like that, any desire in me for anything more than just being friends (cuz i would like that - i miss having guy friends) died.
and then i thought, 'melilot, you're only a few months away from your own healing. it has nothing to do with where he's at. it has to do with where you're at.' and like that, any thought of anyone in anyway in the near future died. hopefully that sticks with me. i'd like to try to get my own priorities straight.
and back to the ruth thing. i'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, it was just how it came out, but she told the guys their ruths might be there, but she told the ladies that they might be someone's ruth. how's that for a challenge? easy to want boaz and assume he'll come sweep us off our feet. much harder to think of how amazing of a woman ruth was and try to be like her so that our boaz can find his ruth. not his spiteful sarah, his conniving rebekah, his beautiful but impure bathsheba. his ruth. there's a reason we all find this the most romantic story in the Bible. it is about two good people who love GOD first and others immediately thereafter, and the good that they then find in each other. the reason we're so happy for them at the end is because they were so good at the beginning. they had their priorities straight before they met each other. first, they were godly.
after she went on for a bit, the pastor who's in charge of the sober houses (not her husband), jumped up and said, 'men from [these houses], your ruth is not in [these houses]. women from [these houses], your men are not in [these houses]. we want better for you. you are where you are right now so you can get your lives on track, get where you need to be, get your focus on GOD. you can go to the party, but your ruth isn't there. don't be gleaning there. that's not what you're striving for right now.'
i liked that. and i immediately thought, 'oh. yeah. duh. didn't think of it like that. mr hottie pants can't be noticing me right now, even if he didn't smoke. and i can't want him to.' and seriously, boom, like that, any desire in me for anything more than just being friends (cuz i would like that - i miss having guy friends) died.
and then i thought, 'melilot, you're only a few months away from your own healing. it has nothing to do with where he's at. it has to do with where you're at.' and like that, any thought of anyone in anyway in the near future died. hopefully that sticks with me. i'd like to try to get my own priorities straight.
and back to the ruth thing. i'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, it was just how it came out, but she told the guys their ruths might be there, but she told the ladies that they might be someone's ruth. how's that for a challenge? easy to want boaz and assume he'll come sweep us off our feet. much harder to think of how amazing of a woman ruth was and try to be like her so that our boaz can find his ruth. not his spiteful sarah, his conniving rebekah, his beautiful but impure bathsheba. his ruth. there's a reason we all find this the most romantic story in the Bible. it is about two good people who love GOD first and others immediately thereafter, and the good that they then find in each other. the reason we're so happy for them at the end is because they were so good at the beginning. they had their priorities straight before they met each other. first, they were godly.
posted by melilotnfosco | 10:37 PM
10 Comments:
yes yes but also be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking you have to be godly BEFORE you meet a man, or you don't have a man BECAUSE you're not godly.
i know that. and i know all the ruth stuff; stuff we've all heard since college (when they start trying to beat the 'you must be perfect' you hear in high school out of you). i just think i caught it more because of the fact that what she told the women was different from what she told the men. and like i said, i'm sure that wasn't intentional. it just felt like it was more directed to me specifically because of that. also, no matter how many times you hear something, if you're at a different place in your life it hits you differently.
also, i'm thinking things like it would be good for me to have a quiet time more than once a month
Yikes, I'm in trouble. :/ I'm definitely not a Ruth and can't imagine I ever will be. Of course, God also gave a godly man (Hosea) a prostitute, so there's that...
But yes, quiet time more than once a month would be good. :) Aren't you amazed sometimes at how good you're doing without doing that on a daily basis? That you still can hear God's Word in your head? Because of His great mercy we are not consumed. :)
amen
Hearty agreement with Auto. Marriage is not a prize.
i know that. that's not what i'm saying. i'm saying mostly that i want to be sure i'm actually moving forward in my walk with CHRIST before i think of walking with someone else. like i said, i'm talking things like spending time with JESUS daily (or weekly for that matter), 1) because that would be good for me in general, and 2) because if i'm too lazy/not willing to put in the work in a relationship with GOD, i won't be willing to put in work in a relationship with a man, which isn't fair to him.
also, while it's not the primary motivation (i don't even know if there is a husband out there for me - i stopped praying for the hypothetical one years ago), i don't think there's anything wrong with a woman wanting to be a better person for her husband. if you love someone, you want what's best for him, and if you can better yourself, it's an act of love to work on doing so. does that mean i think i have to be perfect before GOD will give me someone? no. and heavenly days, i would never want a man who thinks i have it all figured out (or thinks i should). nor would i ever want a man i think has it all figured out. no one's perfect, no one ever will be this side of heaven, and there's no marriage once we get there. if GOD waited til people were perfect we would've died out after adam and eve.
I know. But I can still agree with Auto. :)
I really liked this post. Good insights Mel!
thank you :)
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