again, bev, no

on monday, karol and i were talking about the fact that i always have so many thoughts in my head at once. bev overheard and said, 'i bet you're not thinking what i'm thinking.' i knew where this was going. 'probably not, bev. what are you thinking?' 'i'm thinking about when i die and you marry my husband and you have babies. do you have cute people in your family?' 'yes, bev.' 'oh good.'
tuesday - bev said, 'i had a dream last night.' oh brother. 'what was it about, bev?' 'you married my husband and had a baby. a girl.' 'a girl? that's the worst kind.' 'oh, no. she was so cute.' 'i don't want babies, bev.' 'my husband will do all the work. you just get the benefits.' 'i don't see the benefits.' 'oh, you will when you have them and he does all the work. he's good with children, you know. and she was beautiful. she looked just like you.' 'i'm flattered.'
today - 'are you looking forward to when you marry my husband?' 'i don't see that happening, bev.' 'it will when i die.' 'i don't know about that.' 'i do. and you'll have babies.' 'i don't want babies.' 'my husband will do all the work. he's really good with babies. he's raised six. but none of them were his own. yours would be.'

i'm starting to feel like a prize mare. or an aryan woman on one of those nazi baby farms. i'd consider offering to donate my eggs, but knowing bev, she'd give me all sorts of detailed reasons why the real way is better. it's crazy.