convicting and changing

"alright, alright GOD, i'll let YOU change me. but it has to be all YOUR doing, cuz i've bungled it up too many times already. help me stay on fire this time!" i wonder how often i say that. but this time i really want to really mean it. i'm reading the book "absolute surrender," and it is so convicting. i mean, the question on the front cover is 'are you willing to surrender yourself absolutely into HIS hands?' absolutely? whoa. that's big.

and then i've got this whole mark thing (you know, my pen pal :) ). how can i be a witness to him if i'm not completely on fire? mormons have great values and a good church structure (personally i think the mormons put us Christians to shame in both of those areas), but i have to show him that that's not what it's all about. i have to let him see that it's all about 'CHRIST in you, the hope of glory' (sorry, i don't remember the verse on that one).

so, from now on, there is going to be a change in this blog. i'm going to try to vent less and praise GOD more. i'm going to share more deep thoughts and quotes and verses to try to encourage you girls (and in turn, myself). and, to go with that whole 'everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial' thing, there will be no more botws. (i know, it's sad. but if i don't do that that will continue to be the way i think, and that's not right. instead i need to focus on my botForever.)

this is my goal anyway. GOD's going to have to play a big part in it, though. but HE is good. i'm not too worried.