theological question
so usually (ok pretty much always) when i pray telling GOD i'm tired of being alone and that i want someone with whom i can grow in HIM, and with whom i can serve HIM, and whom i can serve, and who will just plain be there for me and hold me, i apologize. i know i should be content in HIM alone, and no man is going to fix that, and i know i should serve HIM on my own and not wait for some guy to kick me in the bum, so i feel guilty asking GOD to send someone my way. is that bad?
posted by melilotnfosco | 8:50 PM
37 Comments:
i dunno ... but i feel the same way sometimes. but at the same time, we should be praying for our future husband, right? and yeah, He did design us to be with other people, and paul says something about you being lucky (and one of the few) if you can live alone and fully serve God... not sure if that helps though -- but at least we know we can be honest with God and He can handle anything we tell Him...
GOD knows the desires of your heart. i think it's ok to be honest and tell Him what you really want, as long as you are content in His will. after all, hannah begged and pleaded for a child.
Ok, so I know I'm not in the situation, but yeah, God does know the desires of your heart, better than even you do. In fact, a lot of those desires He's responsible for putting there (at least in some form- read "Captivating"!!!!) and He WANTS to discuss them with you. I think the biggest misconception I had with finding a guy was that he was going to fulfill at least some of that need of connection that I had/have, but in fact, the closer I get to Josh the closer I want to get and that hole just gets larger. ONLY God can fill that whole. He'll make us want to fill it by either giving us a husband or having us desire one.
Blogs need spell-check!
mine has it (spell-check, i mean)--at least it underlines in red the words i spell wrong (so i just keep guessing until the line's gone:)
'ONLY God can fill that whole. He'll make us want to fill it by either giving us a husband or having us desire one.' - i'm not quite sure i followed that one.
i think (feel free to correct me though, kimberly:) kimberly just means that whether we're single or married, we still feel a hole and God uses that to point us to Him, b/c that's why the hole's there -- He's who we really need to fill it (and why do i keep wanting to type "whole" instead of "hole"??)
my guess as to the reason you feel guilty asking Him is because you seem to want a husband more when you're in a GOD rut. there's nothing wrong with desiring a relationship - like chelley said, He designed us to need other people. and there's nothing wrong with talking with Him about how you feel and even wrestling with Him about the issue. but as for feeling guilty about asking Him, i think it may be because you're missing being involved in a church.
just a thought - i'm not trying to be preachy or analytical. just trying to answer your question.
and the other reason you might feel guilty (in general) is b/c you're ignoring chelleybutton right now... who could only chat for a little bit anyway, so it's not like your whole day would be gone... :D
i want so desperately to not work sundays. i miss church.
you should find a church you like with evening service... that's what i'm doing today cuz i stayed up too late (4 am to be exact) and got up too late... :(
my church has one, i just can't motivate myself to go. it's better if i go first thing, and then i'm kind of inspired to spend more time with HIM during the res of the day.
want me to go with you?
Go to church!! Who cares if it's an evening service. You'll get into the habbit. I had no idea you hadn't been going.
And yes, Chelley explained what I meant. Sorry I was confusing. Husbands don't fix the hole at all, they just change it a bit. Kids don't either, for that matter, they just take away all your God-time!
i go to church, i just only get to go every other weekend, and if i'm out of town or anything, i (obviously) don't go to my own church, so i'm not remotely plugged in. it's hard. esp when i have no Christian friends around to kick me in the bum or just have GOD talk with. i need to get out of my job and out of my parents' house and preferably out of town.
i just started reading 'don't waste your life,' by john piper. maybe that will help me get my butt in gear.
maybe i should read that, too (she said, while doing nothing on the computer)
i'm confused, i thought i posted something else in response to your not wanting to go to an evening service, but i don't see it... so here it is again (or something like it:):
i understand that you'd rather go in the morning, but sometimes going later can be good too... you've had the whole day for things to go wrong and then you can go to church and be reminded of God's love and give all those problems over to Him and come out feeling restored (I don't think that worked for me yesterday, but sometimes it can:)... melilot, i apologize if you deleted this comment before and here i am posting it again!
but yeah, i completely understand (although, i don't have the work excuse -- but i'm looking for a church to get plugged into, and it's hard too--and i understand the friends thing too, although i do have triple, so i think that's 1 more than you have around)... we need to be praying for us more! :)
WoW good question that I've wondered, too! i agree with everyone so far, especially about Paul having said not everyone was made to be able to be single their whole life, and those who can can put all their efforts into a relationship with God. Being in a different town all the time, I haven't had a chance to really have a 'home church' or a set of Christian friends to fellowship with and be encouraged by them. Staying with my brother in Tucson this past week, I've been able to hang out with him and his church friends, and it does make me miss that, and see how important it is to "get plugged in". Also because good close Christian friends help alleviate that feeling of loneliness and need for a significant other.
Having said that about loneliness and no home church, we still have the technology to fellowship with those who are far away! No matter where we are, all us girls here can encourage each other by using the blessings of the 21st century. For example, Chelleybutton and i just did a devotional together from across the U.S. In Chelle's words, God "crosses time & distance :D"... (this probably sounds really cheesy, but here goes) Let's use each other to fill the holes!
i definitely agree with the alleviation thing, linda ... now all my friends seem to be married, but in grad school we had each other around all the time and were going through the same struggles (spiritual and school/clinic-related;) and so it seemed better... not to mention that thing i've said before about it being easier to start going to a church in college, b/c you have different semesters where lots of people are going for the first time, so you don't feel alone (plus, they're so new to helping college students get plugged in)... it's just harder to go it alone and to try to wade through everything and be outgoing about it! (but yeah, internet and phones can be a total blessing!:)
(i meant they're so USED to helping college students get plugged in -- sorry:)
i'll pray for y'all - going to church alone is really, really hard
aw, thanks, hobbitsister!
Yeah, sorry if I sounded harsh. Going to church by yourself is super hard, even going with parents is hard. I'll definitely be praying for you as you figure this all out.
having each other really did help. not that it doesn't now, but i really loved our Bible study.
and i still say, while it's still not an excuse, that night service is hard when you get up at 5 the next morning.
i need change!
well the first step is admitting it ;)
but now it's time for my "tough love" (like kimberly:) -- stop with the excuses already! they're understandable, but not good enough :) just try it; God'll bless you
i know, i know. but what was it that hobbitsister was saying about acquired taste?
:P
if it helps, think of Katie- we're hoping she eventually gets some aquired taste for food or she'll be one hungry girl! She doesn't like anything and we have to force her to eat. But eventually we hope she'll like it. It may just be that way with you and church.
This just dawned on me last night- have you thought about taking a year and going as staff back to Holsby? You're very experienced in kitchen stuff, or you could help in the office or Elke or with groups- I think they'd LOVE to have you and it would be an excellent God-centered change of pace for you.
i've thought of it, but there are never any openings cuz everyone wants to do it
i suggested that to her awhile ago, kim. maybe it's a sign...
i've thought of it, but there are never any openings cuz everyone wants to do it
keep asking, and then they'll let you know when there's an opening
If it's something you'd like to do, then just keep pestering them until something opens up. They change staff enough that it shouldn't be too long at all.
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