nature is out to get me!!! (careful - this is a horror story, not for the feint of heart)

so i'm sitting outside yesterday cuz it's gorgeous, when suddenly i hear what sounds like my father sneaking up on me to try to scare me. i don't bother turning cuz i don't want to give him the satsifaction. turns out it's not my father! suddenly, tearing out from under my chair is this psycho squirrel, that i swear coulda run up my leg if he had turned the right (or wrong) way. and then!!! his little friend darts out after him!!! and then!!! suddenly i feel this swoosh in the wispy hairs at the top of my head, and turns out a bird swooped super close and almost bonked me on the bean!!! after surving those traumatic experiences, i decided it would be best to go into the safety of my own home. so i went and told my mother of my plight (cuz that's what mothers are there for), and while i was telling her this, in what i thought was a safe sanctuary, i got bit really hard on the toe by a super evil ant!!!

add all that to the deer and the bunny, and i swear i'm gonna be scarred for life. and i thought 'the birds' was scary. at least that was just a movie. this is the true story of my life.

and oh yeah, i got charged by a cow once.